Fragility
by 721
Summary: Like silk over glass. She was too thin. Too fragile. Too small... A story about how Edward's protective behavior slowly turns possessive, spirals out of control, and makes Bella question their relationship. It's ALL HUMAN, T, a bit OOC, Canon Pairings
1. A Weak Heart

Fragility

I've tried to focus this story on certain parts of Edward and Bella's personalities. Edwards protectiveness and possessiveness (that's a lot of s:es) but also his intense love for her, and Bella's two weaknesses: her wish to make Edward happy and her "human fragility". This is an all-human story, rated between T and M for some language. (I don't think it will include any lemons, it just feels awkward to write.) Oh, and Edward might appear slightly dominant at times, but nothing too dark. I don't mean for Edward to be superior to Bella at all, and that's why I decided to write from both Bella's and Edward's points of view, to get an insight of both of their minds: Bella's clouded with her love for him, and Edwards with his clear obsession with her. And just face it, Bella would probably agree to anything Edward insisted on, at least after some thorough dazzling.

Excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. I'm from Sweden, and this is simply a try to improve my English skills.

And I don't own Twilight yada, yada, yada...

So, here goes nothing...

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**1. EPOV**

I hated this feeling. I stood with my arms around the girl I loved more than life, and still I hated it. And I was so scared for her. For what she would have to go through. People that wanted to hurt her.

I hated how she felt in my arms. She was too thin. Too fragile. Too_ small_. She was more than a foot shorter than me, whenever I wanted too kiss her, I would have to bend down or lift her up. I constantly tried to feed her more, whenever I got the chance I put chocolate bars in her pockets and took her to all the best restaurants. She looked like a child and I was disgusted with myself. She _was_ younger than me, though the age-difference was more than acceptable. And she bruised easily. Sometimes I would find bruises matching my fingers around her arms or wrists, from when I had handled her too rough. Despite the fact that treating her like a sculpture of the finest glass was second-nature to me now, I still slipped up sometimes. There was a constant worry gnawing in my chest, she could so easily be hurt. By me, herself or someone else outside the sheltered life I had created for her. I never left her alone; she would always find me or someone I trusted in her presence. Some may call it controlling, but I always let her have her secrets and do whatever she wanted, as long as someone was there to protect her. My whole life revolved around her. Everything I did, I did for her. My love bordered towards obsession, and I felt like a caveman for the possessive way I acted around her. _My _glass sculpture. I would glare and spit and throw a fit with anyone I caught looking at her in a way I thought inappropriate.

I already had our whole future planned out and secured when I finished college and she graduated from high school. I started working for my father's company, telecommunications, in which I would take over the place as the CEO when my father considered me experienced enough. She started college, studying British literature, and I would find her all too often frantically writing on her laptop with a passionate sparkle in her eyes. I would curiously peek over her shoulder while her slender fingers knuckled over the tangents. She would teasingly scold me for it, and then promise to show her work to me when she was done.

I gently released her from the lingering hug and met the adoring stare when I looked down on her. The chocolate brown eyes held nothing but love for me and I sighed contently. I loved this time of day. I had just come home from work and found her shuffling around in the kitchen.

"How was your day?" I asked softly while caressing her cheek with my thumb. It was so soft.

"Fine. I missed you." She answered with a whisper.

I bent down and ever so lightly let my lips meet hers for a brief moment. It felt so right.

Her pale cheeks tinted a light pink after my show of affection.

"I missed you too." I whispered in her ear. Then I spotted something behind her and flinched.

"What happened?" I asked alarmed, when I saw the cutting board sprinkled with blood and the band aid next to it on the kitchen island.

She followed my eyes and sighed, annoyed.

"I just cut myself when I made the salad. No big deal." She made a move towards the island but I grabbed her arm, maybe too tightly, I thought, and yanked her back.

"You should have let me do that, I always do." I accused her. She rolled her eyes.

"Let me see." I lifted her hand and examined the finger with a band aid neatly wrapped around it.

"You know you don't have to do all the cooking all the time." I tried to reassure her. "I'm always here to help." I looked down on her again and to my surprise her deep brown eyes were angry and glistered with unshed tears.

"What's wrong?" I urged while wrapping her into a careful, yet loving, hug. What had I done to upset her?

There was a tense moment before she snapped.

"Why can't you just let me do one thing for you on my own?!" She sniffled quietly.

I tightened my grip while she shook. She had been so sensitive lately.

"It's all you ever do! Giving me things. Doing things for me. Helping me. I wanted to do something for you for once!" The words were slightly muffled against my chest.

Realization dawned for me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered against her temple. "I'm just worried about you."

I tried to think of a way to make it up to her and gently stroke her hair.

"Let's do like this, I'll go upstairs and take a shower and change clothes, and you can finish the dinner? Okay?" I asked and pulled away from the embrace. I tilted her chin upwards and looked into her eyes framed by still wet, thick lashes. Now they were just sad.

She nodded.

"I love you." I said firmly and then let go of her chin and made it upstairs.

I sat down defeated on our bed with my head in my hands. I'd made her _cry_. I'd hurt her that much. I should be killed for that. What horrible person makes the love of his life _cry_? I felt my own eyes water at the thought. She was so loving and caring, and still I hurt her. Why couldn't I just understand what she needed, and then give it to her? I had noticed that she had become a bit distant with me, even though I thought it was mostly because of how little time I had spent with her the past weeks due to the strange threats and attempts to black-mailing at my company. I didn't deserve her and she should leave me. I clutched my heart at the sudden pain that thought delivered. I couldn't imagine life without her, and I briefly wondered if she could survive without me, protecting and taking care of her. I needed to be what she needed me to be. I would do anything for her. I craved her, and I would never survive letting her go. No, I would do anything to keep her safe with me. I stood up, content with my decision, and headed for the shower.

When I came down the stairs and entered the kitchen, the lights had been turned off and the room was only lit with a few candles. The dinner was placed on the kitchen island. She sat on one of the bar stools and looked like an angel in the dim light. With the wavy, dark brown long hair and pale complex, she looked god-sent. I slowly walked forward and relished in every step that brought me closer to her. I silently sat on the stool next to her, and pulled her onto my lap, holding her close, with her back against my chest. I whispered loving words to her while feeding her the pieces of the meal. This had become a habit after I noticed that her waist was a bit too thin for my liking, and she never really ate enough on her own. After half of the portion she started to squirm, but I held her firmly against my chest.

"Come on, angel, a few more pieces." I whispered in her ear.

She reluctantly obliged. I let her slid off my lap while I ate my own portion.

"That was delicious." I continued to whisper. I always spoke softly to her, as if one word too loud would shatter her.

She looked at me for a long while and at last climbed onto my lap again. She rested her forehead against my shoulder and sighed.

"I miss you."

I felt a stab in my heart at her barley audible words.

"I'll take some time off from work, and then we can go somewhere, alone..." I suggested, knowing that it would happen sooner than she expected. I had to keep her with me.

"You don't have to; I know you're busy..."

I interrupted.

"I want to. It feels like I'm loosing you." I breathed into her hair, thinking about how upset she's been with me a few times the last weeks.

She stiffened at my words and turned her head up to face me.

"You're not. But you're not talking to me, and it hurts." Her eyes were once again wet and tears started to fall down her face. I used the tips of my fingers to catch them and exhaled loudly. I didn't like to talk with her about the threats we'd been receiving at work. One of them against her. And it was all about money.

"You're too fragile, it scares me." I admitted and clenched my fists behind her back. "I'm worried sick when I'm away from you, but at the same time I'm so afraid of hurting you when I'm with you. It's happened before." I closed my eyes.

I knew I was moody and had a temper, which only got worse with all the stress in my work and the constant worry about her safety and happiness. I had never intentionally hurt her, only been too rough in my movements. But that didn't change the fact that I _had_ hurt her.

She interrupted my inner ramblings with a soft peck. I felt my lips curve upwards in an involunteered smile.

"That bruise was probably the tiniest I'll ever see." She teased soothingly.

I groaned.

"Don't downplay it. It was still a bruise, proof of how I hurt you."

It was her turn to groan, but I stood up and carried her small form into the library and gently put her down on the couch. I went to retrieve a book and came back just to pull her down on the couch with her head resting on my chest.

"I'll read for you tonight, I'll carry you up to bed when you've fallen asleep."

She nodded contently and yawned.

I read _Jane Eyre_ to her for half an hour, and before her eyelids closed she mumbled "I love you."

I waited a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of her tiny, but oh, so soft body so close to mine. I carried her effortlessly up to bed and helped her out of her jeans before tucking her in. She stirred slightly and I offered her her toothbrush, which she groggily put in her mouth. She was simply adorable. I kissed her forehead and walked quietly out of our bedroom. After I closed the door I leaned my head against it and sighed heavily. Then I flipped my cell open and called work.

A man answered on first signal.

"Cullen? What the fuck's going on? Have you even seen your office?! It's a mess" The man, Felix, our security director, growled.

I took a deep breath.

"I know, damn it. That's not my biggest concern though."

He was silent.

"They took her photo from my desk."

Silence.

"Fuck."

I inhaled and exhaled a few times and pinched the bridge of my nose, frustrated.

"Man, you've got to get her out of there" The man whispered.

"I know. Prepare the jet and make sure the safe house in Alaska is secured and ready."

"Got it."

The man ended the call immediately.

One single tear fell down my cheek at the thought of what I would have to put her through. Snatch her away from her life, just because of my work. I couldn't be more selfish. I tiredly rubbed my eyes before getting the suitcases and clothes appropriate for the climate in Alaska. I carried them out to the waiting SUV, and went back to the house to get Isabella, but not before picking up the two false ID's and passports for us. At last I found the one thing I dreaded the most. The needle. I knew I would have to put her under, so she wouldn't be stressed or scared when we fled. Isabella was sound asleep and I admired her peaceful face while stroking her hair. She mumbled something incoherent and sighed.

"I'm so sorry, angel." I whispered in her ear, before sticking the needle in her arm. I pulled on some sweats on her and carried her to the car.

I was ready to save her.

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Now I feel ridiculous...


	2. Skin And Bones

Fragility

Okay, I already regret uploading this

And I don't own Twilight yada, yada, yada...

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**2. EPOV**

I rested her head in my lap during the whole flight, gently stroking her hair or murmuring soothing words to her. She didn't stir one time, and once we were safely in the house I started to worry. She was so small, maybe I gave her too much? I lay next to her on the bed in the dark room, touching her forehead and making sure her breathing was even. I gave up when she didn't move for the next hours. I went to explore the house instead. Even though it was big, it had a cozy feeling to it; it was like an oversized cabin. She would love the kitchen, I smiled to myself. I was startled by the faint cry of my name, and I rushed back to the bedroom. My angel was sitting up in the bed, with tangled hair and an utterly confused face. I felt relief wash through me when I sat down and pulled her onto my lap so she could feel safe and protected. She was still tense and I could sense the bewilderment from her, when she turned her tiny frame against my chest.

"Hush." I cooed in her ear. "Everything's fine."

Her brow furrowed into the most delicate frown, which I hurriedly smoothed away with my thumb.

"We're in Alaska, in a safe house, and we're going to be okay." I whispered while gently rocking her fragile body.

"Why? What are you talking about?"

I didn't want to answer that question, instead I continued to hush her and hold her. She squirmed against my grasp, but I didn't let go.

"Let go of me." She whispered, upset.

"No." I answered firmly. "You need to calm down." I could barley feel her weak attempts to struggle out of my arms.

"Let go of me." She repeated, louder this time.

I placed a soft kiss on her neck and she stilled for a moment, making me smile.

"I don't want to sit on you lap." She said quietly.

I froze, and she used the opportunity to slide out of my arms.

She didn't _want_ to? She didn't want _me_? She had always wanted to sit there, hadn't she? I panicked and shot up from the bed, placing my hands on her shoulders, squeezing tightly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, agonized. Maybe overreacting.

"I don't want to sit on your lap until you tell me what is going on." She stated stubbornly, eyes fierce. "And please let go of my shoulders, you're hurting me." She added a bit more unsure. I withdrew my hands immediately.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, I didn't mean to." I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for, but it made me feel better. I sank down on the floor and she joined me and held my hand. I needed her to trust me, so I had to tell her the truth. I looked into her worried pools of melted chocolate and inhaled.

"My father's company," I started, "we have had some trouble with... threats. Someone broke into out main office, my office to be exact, and the only thing missing..." I trailed off, not wanting to scare her.

"The only thing missing?" She coaxed curiously, not seeming too afraid of what I'd just told her.

"Was your photo." I felt the guilt heavy on my shoulders.

She gasped quietly. She saw my hunched shoulders and put her thin arms around me. They were what held me together. I blinked a few times and met her gaze.

"So, I took you here and... I don't know. I need to keep you safe." I said in a pleading tone. "You _do_ still want me, don't you?"

She stopped me.

"I never said I didn't want you!" She protested and showered my face and neck with butterfly kisses. I laughed nervously and looked at the tiny girl who pouted irresistibly at me. I pulled her closer and loved the feeling of her now relaxed body in my arms.

"I'll always protect you, with my life." I whispered over and over again.

I felt more content than in weeks.

Within moments she was a sleep again. I lifted her to the bed and tucked her in once again. She looked too small for the king sized bed and her innocence was more pronounced than ever. I grimaced at my own thoughts and left the room.

While I was preparing dinner the dreaded call came. Calls had been made to my office with threats against Isabella if the company did not give up some contracts.

I groaned when I put the lasagna in the oven and decided to visit the liquor cabinet. I was sitting on the kitchen counter with a glass of scotch when my Isabella appeared in the kitchen, newly showered and dressed in one of my sweaters.

I smiled at her.

"Hi."

Her eyes flickered nervously to the glass in my hand and she gave me a weak smile.

"Hi."

I understood her uneasiness and emptied the glass in the sink. She had always been uncomfortable around alcohol after my sister had dragged her clubbing on her 21st birthday. As if I would ever let her near anything that dangerous again. I patted the space next to me.

"I'm making lasagna." I said when I lifted her up on the counter.

"It smells good." She complimented and leaned her head on my shoulder.

I gazed down at her and carefully put my hand on the side or her neck, massaging her pulse point lightly with my thumb. She bit her shivering lip and her brown eyes sparkled. We were silent until the timer beeped, announcing that the food was ready, and I cut up the pieces for us.

"Do you want to watch a movie while we eat?" I asked her.

She nodded cautiously and brought the plates to the living room, where I pulled her down on the couch, between my knees after I had started the DVD. I held her wrists when she tried to reach for the fork and I started feeding her again.

"Pride and Prejudice!" She squealed when she saw the movie playing and I had to laugh at her.

"Good girl." I whispered in her ear after she swallowed the last mouthful and I started on my own.

While she fascinated watched the movie I started to really worry about her safety. That was nothing unusual, and some days I would panic and have to call her just to know she was safe when she was in school. She was so trusting and good, and people used it just to hurt her. I remembered the first time a saw her, and sighed happily.

_That was 3 years ago, I was twenty-three and just about to start my last year on Dartmouth. I was home visiting my family for the last time that summer, and they decided to throw a BBQ party. My father, Carlisle, had decided to invite the chief of police in the small town, and his daughter that just moved there. He showed up with fish fry and the tiniest, most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on. Her thick mahogany hair and matching deer eyes were amazing. She was eighteen and stuttered and blushed and stumbled and was completely adorable. I spent the evening trying to make her blush as much as possible by telling her pretty much all compliments I could come up with. In the end of the evening I asked for her number and kissed her cheek and received a very dirty look from her father._

I chuckled at the memory. My Isabella who was now sprawled out on the huge couch looked questiongly at me.

"Remember when I first met you?" I laughed at her horrified expression.

"That was the best and worst night of my life!" She accused cheeks red.

"Don't be mad." I pleaded and pulled her flush against me, kissing her neck. I saw goose bumps rise on her arms and smiled a somewhat smug smile. And then I swallowed when I looked at our arms and the difference between them. My arm must have been three times the size of hers, and I was not very muscular. I hated bringing this up and she hated talking about it. I sat her up on the couch and looked at her seriously.

"You've lost weight. Again." I said sternly.

She looked away but I caught her face between my hands and forced her to look at me.

"Isabella." I warned.

"I haven't been hungry. And I forget to eat." She said stubbornly and her lower lip jutted out. She rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with me, please."

I closed my eyes and tried to regain some composure. I was scared to death that her body would loose any of its softness and become, if possible, even more fragile and breakable.

"Please," I said, "I'm trying my best, but you have to put in some effort, Isabella." She knew I was serious when I used her name like that

"Okay." She mouthed.

I nodded approvingly and gently nibbled her pouting lip with my own. I pulled away but swooped her up in my arms and headed to the bedroom.

"Let's go to bed, alright?"

She nodded, relieved that it was over. Once in the bedroom, she disappeared into the bathroom and after a few minutes she came out in one of my t-shirts. I smiled at the sight and motioned for her to come to bed. She cuddled up next to me and started stroking patterns with her fingers over my bare chest. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling for a few minutes before grabbing her wrist and pinning it to her side.

"Sleep." Was my only command before I kissed her forehead and sank back on the pillows with her head tucked under my chin.

I watched her eyes flutter under her eyelids and wondered how someone so small could hold so much of my love. She had the innocence of a small child too, and that bothered me to no end. I don't think I could ever risk making love to her and hurting her that way, taking that away from her. God knows I was tempted to an almost painful point every night, but I just couldn't. And at the same time it thrilled me that I was the only one who would be allowed to do it. I could make her mine for real. Claim her. I shook my head from my thoughts and concentrated on her beautiful face. She was pure, and I wasn't going to take that away from her. The thought of someone else doing that made me boil. No one was ever going to steal her away from me. I would die if that happened, which it wouldn't, because I would never allow it. I was used to getting what I wanted. She was mine, and would never belong to someone else. The way I had started to think about her lately scared me. I was obsessed, it wasn't just love anymore, it was an obsession, I realized. She would always be at the very top of the list of my priorities, and she would never have to fear anything. Even if it meant keeping her locked in this house. It was for her own safety, I tried to convince myself.

I woke up in the morning to the smell of eggs and bacon from the kitchen. My Isabella must have escaped the cage of my arms and woken up already. I hated the feeling of waking up cold and alone, so I pulled on a t-shirt to go with my boxers and headed to the kitchen. She stood at the oven in all her morning glory and jumped a little when I put my arms around her, smelling her hair.

"You know I hate to wake up alone." I complained.

"And I know how much you love eggs and bacon." She answered while she turned around and stuck her tiny tongue out in teasing way.

"Eggs and bacon got nothing on you." I insisted, and mirrored her grimace.

She rolled her eyes and put the food on plates before handing me a cup of steaming coffee. She sat down at an empty stool, and I raised an eyebrow.

"I can eat by myself, thank you." She said coldly.

Was she trying to detach herself from me? She knew I needed her close. And she needed _me_, didn't she? What was she trying to do? My head spun with all the questions.

"I'm not a child." She said quietly.

So this was what it was about. I sighed, irritated. We'd already had this argument. I'd told her I knew she wasn't a child, but that I did enjoy taking care of her. And she should let me. She was always so damn stubborn. I breathed heavily. Now was not a good time to loose my temper, so I did as always. Pulled her by her hips onto my lap and held her there. She protested loudly but I ignored it until both she and I calmed down. I always felt secure when I touched her. It felt like heaven.

"Behave." I ordered, squeezing her hips to show her that I was serious. She scowled at me before handing me a fork, muttering under her breath. I fed her the eggs while holding her in a firm grasp with one of my arms over her waist. She glared at me before sliding off and stomped away to the living room. I chuckled at her; her kittenish fury was probably the cutest thing about her. She had a temper, just like me, and even though she had a lot better control than me, it still shone through at times. And even then, she was as harmless as a soft kitten. I sighed and continued my breakfast. I supposed I could make amends then.

"Isabella." I called softly to make her look up from the book she was reading on the couch. She didn't look up. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Apparently, this would be harder than I thought. I went to sit next to her. My eyes narrowed when she still didn't look up.

"Isabella." I tried again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She sighed and closed the book. The look of determination in her eyes scared me a little. I waited for her to speak.

"You can't just treat me like a baby, bring me to the middle of nowhere, without me knowing about it, and then expect me to be okay with it." She said in a strong voice.

I felt the fury boil up. _I definitely had a problem with my temper_.

"You think I brought you here for what? For fun? For my own sake?! I did it because they threatened you, you weren't safe at home!" I was livid. Fuck, she could be so blind.

Angry tears spilled down her cheeks and she stood up.

"So you treat me like a baby for my own safety too? It feels like I'm choking when I'm with you! Like I don't have an own life, that I'm just some doll you can bring anywhere you want and treat anyway you want." Her voice was high-pitched and she swallowed her sobs while I sat there, stunned. She decided to continue strangling me with guilt.

"And you're so damn controlling, and don't give me that shit about my safety, I'm pretty sure that anyone can go to school and survive without three shadows that follow your every step. Not to mention phone calls. I can't even say hi to the boy in the coffee shop without you making a total fool of both yourself and me with your sick possessiveness."

I closed my eyes and felt my world fall apart around me.

"You've changed." She added quietly.

Couldn't she understand that _she_ changed me? She was the one turning me into a love sick fool. I wasn't prepared for what she said next.

"I want you to take me home, and then you and I are going to take a break."

_You and I. _My Isabella and I, _we_, weren't even a _we_ in her eyes. And I lost it. I stood up, towering over her small, shivering body, and lowered my voice to a deathly whisper. I would _not_ let her leave me. Ever.

"You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere."

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Uhm, so next chapter will be in BPOV.

I hope you enjoyed it more than I did. I think I just figured out that fanfiction just isn't my thing.


	3. You Lost Yourself

Fragility

Okay, so, here's BPOV.

And I _still_ don't own Twilight yada, yada, yada...

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**3. BPOV**

_"You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere."_

During the three years I had known and loved Edward, I had never been afraid of him. Not when he yanked my wrists a bit too forcefully and not when he threw one of his temper tantrums, I had known he would never hurt me. But now, I was not too sure. There was a dangerous metallic glint in his emerald eyes that I had never seen before. I flinched away in shock and then my previous anger bubbled up again. I had let him control me for too long, loosing more and more of my independence as time went.

"I'm going wherever I want to go!" I spat at him. I couldn't believe that the man I loved and trusted with my life would say something like that. His lips were set in a tight line and I bit my lip at the sight of his clenched jaw. I had never seen him this upset before. What was his problem?

He bent down until his eyes were at the same level as mine and our noses almost touching. I felt hypnotized and couldn't tear my, what I presumed was, terrified gaze from his dangerous stare.

"Are you?" He arched an eyebrow arrogantly, Edward-style, I almost smiled at that. But his eyes remained cold and calculating. I swallowed. He was just as stubborn as I was, perhaps more so, and I started to worry if it had been such a good idea to get upset with him. He always got what he wanted. Locked in his gaze, my mind fled back to the first time I met him.

_I was 18, he 23. I had just moved to a small town to live with my dad, and it was only my second day there. We had been invited to the Cullen's for a BBQ, and apparently, they were some kind of big deal in the small town. I hated parties; especially if they involved people I had never met or even seen. He caught my attention immediately where he stood and oozed confidence among the guests. I had never seen someone so perfect. His messy just-got-out-of-bed-hair and smoldering green eyes left me breathless. And he held my heart after the first playful wink he gave me. I felt like an idiot, and was tomato-red for the rest of the evening, when I received his full attention. I still remembered the lingering kiss he had given me on the cheek, and I did not miss my father's glare. They had driven each other insane ever since._

"So?" His velvety voice interrupted my memory. I felt like kissing him and I felt like slapping him. The latter alternative won. My hand came down on his cheek after I had backed away a step. I was shocked by my own behavior. I wasn't exactly a violent person, and I put a hand for my mouth. His facial expression didn't change at all, except for the little devilish smirk that appeared. He took one step forward and I backed away, we repeated our actions until I felt a wall against my back. My heart was pounding frantically and I wondered if he would really hurt me, after all, it _was_ only fair. I looked up at his face, really scared now, while he put his arms on either side of my head and looked down at me. To my relief his eyes were warm and smoldering again.

"Like a deer caught in the headlights... or a lamb in the lion's cage." He murmured and stroke my cheek lovingly. I relaxed and sank to the floor, breathing heavily from the emotional press. He sat down on his feet beside me and lifted my chin.

"Are you going to do as I say from now on, Isabella?" He asked me in a warning voice. It wasn't like I had any alternatives for the moment, not just after he showed me that he actually could be cold and callous, something I had considered impossible before. But I would get out of this mess sooner or later.

I nodded weekly and he kissed my forehead gently.

"Good girl." He whispered and placed a feather light kiss on my lips. I forced away my irritation at the moment and responded with a slight pout against his firm, always sweet lips. I had no idea what would happen after my little outburst. Suddenly he pulled me down lying on the floor, with my head on his thighs, where he sat. He looked straight into my eyes and seemed to be looking for something. He sighed and smiled a little sadly.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He apologized while his warm green eyes bore into mine.

"I would never, ever hurt you." He added quickly, before I had I chance to say it was alright. I felt a bit relieved, and sat up, Indian-style, on the floor.

There was just something about him that made him so irresistible, he was almost intoxicating. But I couldn't ignore the little voice in my head screaming "get out before it's too late". He really had changed since I met him, and at that time he was easy-going and fun. Now... I didn't know. He was so intense, _too_ intense, he always watched my every movement, and he was wound up and jealous most of our time together. He wasn't just protective, he was possessive, more so than I would like. He always introduced me as "his Isabella", and when I insisted on them calling me Bella, he shot warning glances at me, always touching me. I felt caged. And it felt as if he was using his age and size against me, always telling me how small and weak I was. And now this. Drugging me and dragging me to Alaska. I snorted and wrinkled my nose.

"Now what?" I hadn't noticed that he'd moved and sat directly in front of me.

"Nothing." I sighed, and touched his cheek. He melted into my touch and leaned his head in my palm.

"What are our plans for today?" I asked. If I knew him as well as I thought, he had already made all changes necessary for us to stay here for as long as needed. Including calling my parents and the university if we would stay longer than a few weeks.

He hesitated.

"I don't know. What would you like to do?" He cocked his head and pouted questiongly at me. I glanced at the clock on the robust wall, it was only 11 am. I thought about it while I admired the room. The cabin, or... the _house_, I supposed, was amazing. It was so warm and cozy in warm, inviting colors and textiles, and then realization hit me.

"Are we going to be stuck here during Christmas?!" I had promised my parents to celebrate with them since I hardly ever got the chance to see them.

Edward actually looked guilty.

"I know how much you wanted to see them, but... yeah, we'll probably be here for a while." He squeezed my knee soothingly. I curled up in a ball on the soft carpet and looked up on Edward, who looked tormented.

"I'm really sorry..." He whispered, and I could tell he meant it.

I could never stay mad at him for long, and had almost forgotten our earlier argument when he picked me up and put me down on the sofa. He sat next to me and I nuzzled his neck. He always smelt amazing. And I was always hypnotized by his presence, his looks, and, despite his earlier behavior, love. I had never felt as loved as when I was with Edward. It almost scared me how addicted and dependent I was on him.

"So, what would you like for Christmas?" He asked me softly while staring deeply into my eyes. As always when he did that, my breath hitched, and he chuckled.

"Freedom." I muttered under my breath, mood sour again. His teeth clenched together.

"Why is it so difficult for you to accept our situation?" He tensed up and I saw a pulsing vein at his temple. That was _never_ good. "You're acting childishly."

_And there he goes again_, I thought and scooted away from him.

He pulled me back at once, and this time his eyes were on fire. I tried to struggle out of his arms, but they held me tightly. And then he did the last thing I expected. He kissed me. Hard and passionate. I responded instinctively and let my lips follow his movements. After a few moments I tried to break it, but he squashed his lips against mine before I had the chance to take a single breath. My head started to spin and I wondered briefly if he didn't need to breathe. He finally ended the kiss and I gasped for air. He smiled crookedly and looked a bit smug.

"Your mood swings are kind of giving me a whiplash." I accused him and poked his chest when my breathing had recovered.

"And your mood swings are kind of driving me insane." The vein was still pulsing furiously, and I had a hard time breathing in his iron grip. We stared at each other in silence for a while, trying to read each others emotions, his some kind of mix between fury and passion, and after a while he loosened his grip. He confused me more and more as this little trip went. He was always loving and warm, but at the same time collected until his temper got to him, but the last days it seemed like he didn't even try to gain some composure over his actions.

"Really, Edward", I tried, voice soft and soothing, "what's wrong?" I didn't know for how long I would be able to handle his behavior, and I needed to help him.

He hesitated and looked everywhere but at me.

"Edward." I tried again. His emerald eyes finally met mine again, and the expression in them surprised me, it was almost... scared. He shook his head.

"Nothing's wrong, angel." He whispered and buried his face in my hair, breathing me in. I sighed frustrated, but didn't try to escape his embrace, I knew how much he needed it. I let his warmth envelope me and keep me safe, like he always said. I wasn't the least stressed about the whole situation with my photo; I knew all too well that he would never let anything happen to me. I was more concerned about how it affected Edward. He had never been this controlling or erratic. I wondered if this was where we were headed all along through our relationship, me being locked up in a house where no one else could touch me, and Edward could always watch me. I didn't like it at all.

The next few days passed slowly. We were watching DVDs, reading, cuddling and just relaxing. Well, I relaxed, Edward kept his tension but never let his temper out of hand. We celebrated Christmas without gifts, since I refused any, and so did he. He would probably get me something once we were out of this mess. Edward was on his cell half of the time, sighing and cursing, always in a different room of course. He'd given me a long lecture about the language I used when I snapped that morning. I had resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the time. _Hypocrite_.

We were out in the snow in the backyard a few times, and afterwards we would have hot chocolate and cuddle up at the fire place. It would have been a dream vacation, if not for the underlying tension in Edward and the fact that I was here against my will. I decided to ask him about it one night before we went to bed.

"You do know that this counts as kidnapping, right?"

He just chuckled and kissed my cheek before murmuring in my ear.

"In that case, you're probably the most willing kidnapping-victim ever." I let it slip that time and muttered back.

"The Stockholm Syndrome."

The food situation didn't get better either. Stress had always made me loose my appetite and Edward would practically shove the food down my throat when I didn't eat enough. I knew I was petite, but he always overreacted. I was pretty thin, I knew, but he made it sound like I was some kind of fairy. Or dwarf. With an eating disorder. I found myself frantically wishing that this would be over soon.

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Ugh, this is killing me.  
Obviously, I prefer to read and not to write.


	4. Taken By The Stream

I should apologize for not showing much trust in this story. But I promise I **will** behave in the future.

I wasn't planning on updating today, but I kind of feel bad for all the complaining, so here you go. It's kind of short, though.

I hope you enjoy! And I love all your reviews too.

Edward is back!

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**4. EPOV**

I woke up by my buzzing cell phone exactly one week after we had arrived to the cabin, and sat up to read the message, careful not to wake my Sleeping Beauty.

_"All taken care of. She's safe."_

I read the message over and over again with a strange sense of dread and relief. My Isabella was safe from the people that wanted her hurt, but that meant that we could go back to the real world. I was scared to death of it, that she would find someone else to make her happy. I didn't want to go back. No more time for just us, and then she would smile and laugh with others. I wanted to be the one to make her happy. She should never need anyone else but me. Hell, I _could_ make her happy on my own. She was _mine_, and would never belong to anyone else. Her eyes should sparkle just for me. And she should smile just for me. I loved her more than anyone would ever be able to. And I could give her everything she wanted. She didn't _need_ anyone else. She could be safe and happy with me. We would do just fine on our own... no, we would do _great_ on our own. I could run the company from here, or Carlisle could do it, and no one else would ever touch her. Her smiles would be just for me. I got lost in the happy thoughts of us alone, together, when she started to stir. I smiled down at the tiny angel in my arms when she groaned and looked up at me with blurry, beautiful brown eyes.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." I smiled cheerily at her. She blushed and hid her head in the crook of my neck. I kissed the top of her head and threaded my fingers through her thick, wavy hair. She stretched like a kitten and I relished in the sight of her in one of my shirts. She peeked up at me and eyed me curiously.

"You seem happier than in a while." She was too observant for her own good.

"You think so?" I stalled.

"Mmhm." She mumbled and yawned. I gave her a soft peck on her full lips and closed my eyes contently.

"Good news?" She breathed against my chest. I hesitated... Maybe I could just keep her here for a few days more. She didn't need to know that we could go home safely in this moment. I could afford keeping her to myself a couple of days more, then we could go back and get ready to move here permanently. I sighed and began to speak.

"Not really, the NYPD is working on the case." I lied, trying to keep a concerned look on my face. Not really though, sometimes contacts in the Russian mafia came in handy.

She nodded gravely and I started to get up.

"I'll bring you breakfast in bed" I smiled. I just couldn't seem to make myself stop. I pulled on some jeans and went to prepare breakfast. While I was cutting the fresh strawberries the cleaning staff had brought together with other food supplies, I began humming the song I had composed for her, just a month after our first date. I took the cereal with milk and strawberries and made my way to the bedroom. My Isabella was patiently waiting in bed, propped up on some pillows. I lay down next to her, carefully balancing the bowl. I started to feed her, and for once she obeyed without complaints. When she was finished I bent forward to kiss her, but she skipped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, giggling. She seemed almost as happy as me, I thought giddily. I made her that happy. I could take care of her, and make her the happiest girl on earth. But maybe Alaska wasn't the right place. I should just ask her where in the world she would want to go the most, and then take her to live there. No more dangers or annoying boys. My father wouldn't mind keeping the company running for a few more years. I went to fix my own breakfast while making all necessary plans in my head. My angel joined me in the kitchen after her shower, and I eyed her up and down. She wore one of my black shirts with tights in the same color and it fueled some more of my possessiveness, if that was even possible. I smirked and patted my lap where I sat on the counter.

"I thought I brought you a whole suitcase with your own clothes, huh?"

I lifted her onto my lap and held her close; it was my favorite spot to have her sit. Close to me, where no one else could touch her and I could keep her safe.

She pouted adorably and played with the hem of the shirt that reached her mid-thigh.

"Tell me something", I started, and made sure to make eye contact with her, "if you could go anywhere you wanted in the world, where would it be?" She leaned away and cocked her head slightly to the side while looking suspiciously at me.

"Why do you ask?"

"Uh-uh", I scolded, "just answer the question."

She seemed to think about it for a while.

"Uhm... Ireland?" She asked unsure and blushed. I nodded approvingly, she always wanted to go somewhere in Europe whenever I asked. I had already taken her to Rome, Paris, London and Berlin. Then I gently set her on her feet, and made sure she was steady.

"Did you save any hot water?" I asked and made my way out of the kitchen, and left a slightly confused Isabella behind me.

I spent the rest of the day making phone calls and setting up for our stay in Ireland. I drove my angel mad with my secrecy and we ended up in a pillow fight. I was so happy. Before we went to bed she asked if she could borrow my cell to call her parents, and I obliged, knowing how much she missed them. She walked out of our bedroom and I heard her muffled voice behind the closed door. Then she went quiet and after a few minutes I had to find out what was wrong. I found her against the wall next to the door with my cell phone open next to her. She sat with wide eyes, just staring at it. I kneeled in front of her and grabbed the phone from the floor. I read the message and closed my eyes.

_"All taken care of. She's safe."_

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Okay, that's it... Next update will not be until Monday I think. (I got a not-so-controlling boyfriend home from the university this weekend!). Well, I do have some chapters done that I could post, but I like to have a few prepared.

You could tell me what you think, if you want to?


	5. Still It Got Worse

Well, here's BPOV!

Enjoy!

And I don't own Twilight. I forgot to mention it the last chapter, but I highly doubt that anyone at this site actually does.

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**5. BPOV**

_"All taken care of. She's safe."_

If I really was safe, what was I still doing in this house? And Edward had lied. One too many times.

"Take me home." I whispered without meeting his gaze. He nodded and hurriedly went back to the bedroom to retrieve our suitcases. Good god. What was I supposed to do now? I was tired of his lies and actions. And I was tired of being treated like a child. I was tired of the life he made me live. And I was upset, because no matter what he put me through, I would always love him and bend to his wishes. I was tired of it. Why did he have to have such power over me? I couldn't stand it anymore.

We didn't talk for the whole flight home. He just watched me and I still couldn't make myself look into his eyes. If I did, I would probably just forgive him. I was still clueless what to do when we arrived home to New York. The penthouse apartment seemed dark and uninviting. He didn't try to say anything. I numbly went to bed in one of the guestrooms and fell into a dreamless sleep.

He wasn't at home when I woke up the next morning, and I was grateful for that. I made my way through the too big apartment, in all the warm, natural colors that somehow reflected Edward. His mother had helped design the interior, and everything looked perfect. I already missed him. I felt empty. I skipped breakfast and took a long, hot bath to clear my mind. I needed to get away, to show him that how he acted wasn't acceptable. Or was it? I didn't know. All he was trying to do was make me happy, just to make sure that I would never leave him for someone else. Oh, yes, I knew his biggest fear. The fear that had driven him to take me away. Someone else stealing me away or hurting me. The fear of me loving someone else. I laughed out loud at that. As if I could ever love someone else than Edward. But Edward probably invented the overreaction. If I left, I wasn't sure just how far he would go to get me back again. And I didn't want to leave. He was my safe harbor. The one who would do anything for me and always be there. But he really did scare me. He would chain me to a wall and throw away the key when he found me again. And I would still love him. I groaned at the hopeless situation and got out of the tub. I pulled on some jeans and a simple tank top with a cardigan over and went to find my own cell phone (the one that Edward very conveniently forgot at home).

6 missed calls from his sister, Alice. It looked like I had missed our Christmas shopping-date. And that was it. No calls from mom or dad. I sighed, I guess they did enjoy Christmas without me. They had had an on/off relationship since I was born, and I was shuffled from place to place during my whole life. My life was empty without Edward. My whole existence centered around him. _Oh, great, now I'm sounding like him too_. I needed to get out. Fast. So I called the only number I could think of, Alice wasn't a good alternative right now and I needed advice about how I should handle this whole situation. I waited nervously.

"Bella?" I heard a tired voice answer.

"Yeah, hi Emmett. Did I wake you?" I asked timidly.

"Ugh, I've spent the night, and morning, soothing my heart-broken and _furious_ cousin." Damn it. What was Edward doing at Emmett's place? I thought he would be at Alice's or something. I let out a nervous laugh.

"He's still here... and he destroyed my living room, ya know. Want to have a word with him?" Emmett asked, maybe a bit sourly.

"No, never mind, sorry. Bye." I shut the phone and stared blankly out the panorama window with the exquisite view of the New York late morning. I should just stay with my parents for a few days. Let him sort things out. And let myself de-stress. I packed some fresh clothes in a duffle bag and called the airport to get a ticket for the next flight to Seattle. I decided not to call my parents, I was always welcome at their place whenever needed. Which had been never the last few years. The plane wouldn't leave until 6 pm and I settled in the leather couch in the living room with a book and felt a bit of relaxation for the first time since yesterday. I must have managed to fall asleep and when I woke up it was already 4 pm. I had to rush to the airport. But when I stepped out of the elevator in the lobby of the building where we lived, I froze. Edward stood a few feet away, looking like he hadn't slept for a week, clothes and hair in perfect disarray.

"Going somewhere?" He eyed my bag and smiled grimly.

I didn't know what to answer. He just grabbed my elbow and gently pulled me into the elevator again. He leaned against the wall, crossed ankles and arms and watched me carefully. I didn't know how to react to this. I had a plane to catch. Well, maybe not, I thought when we stepped out in the penthouse. I was just confused. He took the duffle bag and my handbag and put it down on the floor in silence. Then he turned to me.

"We're leaving for Ireland in a few hours." I looked at him, shocked. His eyes held a burning intensity and I found it hard to look away. He was angry. Which made me angry. He had absolutely no right to take me to Ireland when he knew that I needed time alone.

"What?" I screeched. "You're kidnapping me, _again_? I continued acidly.

"If that's what you want to call it." He answered coolly and led me to the bedroom. I tried to struggle out of his grip, but as usual, it was useless. He looked down at me with such anger that I shrank back a little and stilled my movements. He let go of me and started to pack two suitcases with clothes.

"I have school and you have work and our families will miss us, you know." I tried a different angle. He didn't stop for a second and disappeared into the bathroom connected to the room to get the toiletries. He answered my obvious statement when he got back.

"You can e-mail your assignments to the university and I'm sure Carlisle wouldn't mind running the business for me for a while." I felt my eyes tear up at his coldness and tried to hold back a sob, but he heard me. He closed the suitcases and turned to me and leaned down. His face was tired and sad, and I couldn't help but to place a hand on his cheek, just to feel that stubble. He smiled a little and wiped a tear off my cheekbone. He put his arms around me and held me for a while.

"I don't want to go. We need time apart." I sniffled. I felt a stab in my heart at my own words but tried to ignore it. Edward stiffened.

"We're going to Ireland. End of story." He said and tightened his grasp on me. First Alaska and now Ireland.

"No!" I tried to break free. He couldn't continue to force me to do things like this.

"Really, Isabella, stop it now!" He had never raised his voice like that and I flinched.

"I'm not going!" I yelled at him. He ignored me and continued to hold my body in an iron grip.

"Let go of me! Now!" I demanded. He didn't answer. I continued to struggle and felt exhausted after a few minutes. I was breathing heavily and it didn't help when I inhaled his intoxicating scent and felt his hand soothingly rubbing circles on my back.

"Calm down." He whispered over and over again. I was so tired. I relaxed and leaned into him. He loosened his arms and I used the opportunity to try to slide out of his embrace. But he was faster and caught me the same moment I stumbled out of his grasp. He put his hands firmly on my shoulders and looked down at me again, this time with narrowed eyes.

"Try that again, and I swear I'll tie you hands up. We _are_ going to work this out." His voice was threatening. He didn't just say that, did he? Was he kidding?

"I'd like to see you try." I spat. He lifted his eyebrows in sour amusement and smiled devilishly.

"Your wish, my command, kitten." He said softly and turned to one of the closets. When he returned he held one of his ties in his hand and dangled it in front of my face. _He's totally lost it_, I thought and backed away. He stalked towards me until my back was against the wall. Then he pulled me closer and snaked my arms behind my back. I was frozen in surprise. I felt the soft silk of the tie around my wrists and Edward's gentle fingers. I yanked them from behind my back and he beamed, tucking the tie in one of his pockets. I shivered. He had actually tried to do it. My eyes were wide and he laughed quietly while his eyes glittered mischievously. He was too perfect.

"Fine." I huffed and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Good girl." He whispered in my ear, his breath causing a shiver go down my spine. I was sick of those two words. He picked up the suitcases with ease and headed for the elevator. We put on our coats and I couldn't help ogling Edward in his navy blue wool coat and black slacks. He smiled knowingly and ushered me into the elevator. We caught a cab and were soon on our way over the Atlantic Ocean. I sat in one of the seats of his private jet and glared at Edward. He looked sadly at me.

"I'm sorry." He apologized quietly. "I just wanted some time alone with you. I didn't mean to lie."

I just shook my head.

"Why are we going to Ireland?"

"We need time alone, everything has been so messy lately." His voice was so determined.

I sighed heavily. Why couldn't we just work it out at home?

"I love you. More than anything. Please forgive me" He kneeled in front of my seat and reached up to palm my face. The love in his eyes was intense and his touch soft.

"I love you too." I answered after an internal debate. I smiled at his relieved expression and slid down next to him on the floor. He pulled me into a hug and I let him. We sat there in silence, our thoughts far away. And then my stomach growled. Which made Edward let out a similar sound.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asked sternly. I tried to remember. He always got so angry when I didn't remember to eat.

"Yesterday." I answered quietly. I didn't want another fight. He sighed and walked over to the mini bar in the plane. He came back with a bottle of orange juice and a sandwich.

"This will have to do." He said and lifted me up into my seat again, and put the food on the table next to it.

"Eat." He commanded. I obeyed. He watched my every movement and I grew self-conscious. After some chewing I was finally done and drank the last juice. He carried me to the rather small bedroom in the plane and laid me down on top of the covers. He lay down beside me and pulled me tightly against his chest. I hid my face in the crook of his neck and fell asleep after an exhausting day. Both physically and emotionally.

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I actually let my boyfriend read this, and he asked if he should have brought a tie. Which was really awkward, since my mom was standing in the doorway to my room.

She just: What, are you two going to a party?

It was really, really embarrassing and I haven't seen him laugh that much in ages...

Okay, so next chapter will be up... uhm... soon.


	6. Believing That This Is How It Works

Oh, well, Edward's still being an ass.  
Sorry.

I don't own Twilight.

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**6. EPOV**

I was nervously pacing back and forth in the plane while my Isabella was asleep. I had practically forced her to come with me. I never even gave her a choice. She had been so upset with me yesterday, and I had been so scared that she would tell me she hated me, rightfully so. And now we were only two hours from landing near Dublin, all against her will. But I couldn't just let her take off on her own; didn't she realize how dangerous it would be to go to Seattle all by herself? She never knew what was best for her. I chuckled as I thought of her face when I pulled out the tie from the closet. She had looked so shocked, and I was afraid that her big, brown Bambi-eyes would pop out of her head. God, I loved her. I needed to take her away, to show her that I was the only person she needed, that I was more than capable of taking care of her. The idea of her running off to her parents made me angry. They had never taken good care of her, like parents were supposed to do. Her father, Charlie, had always despised me, but she wasn't his Bella anymore. He lost her the day I saw her for the first time. She was my Isabella from that day. I decided to go and wake her so she could be ready when we reached our destination.

I carefully sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook her thin shoulders. She didn't stir, so I placed a hand on her exposed hip, marveling over her perfectly smooth, pale skin. It was so soft. I stroked the skin of her waist with my thumb while I admired her beauty. She must have fallen down from the skies.

"Morning." She mumbled and yawned. She was always so cute in the mornings, all tired and confused. I met those wonderful eyes and smiled.

"Sleep well?" I asked.

She nodded and got up.

"I'm taking a shower." She informed me curtly before she dragged her feet along the floor towards the bathroom. I guessed she was still angry with me. I sighed. I would just have to prove it to her that this would be good for us.

Isabella still didn't speak to me when she returned from the shower and it upset me. Why did she have to be so fucking stubborn? It wasn't like she could ignore me for the rest of our stay. She sat down Indian-style on the bed with a worn paperback copy of Wuthering Heights and didn't break the uncomfortable silence. Her tiny frown was present and she almost ripped the pages off when she turned them. I watched her grimace and couldn't help but chuckle at her stubbornness. She scowled at me but turned her eyes to my cell phone on the night stand. She got a speculative look on her face but it disappeared quickly. I wondered what she was up to. She smiled innocently at me and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Just to be sure she didn't get herself into trouble; I took the phone from the night stand and slowly put it in my pocket. She bit her lip, a bit disappointed. If she wanted to borrow it, she would just have to ask. Unless she wanted to call someone I didn't approve of, of course. I raised my eyebrows but she just shrugged and went back to read her book. I didn't like this game. At all.

The rental car, a black Mercedes, was waiting for us when we got off the plane. I grabbed the suitcases and told Isabella to wait while I carried them to the car. Then I went back and slid my arm around her waist to carefully lead my clumsy angel down the stairs from the jet.

The heavy silence continued during an hour, until I remembered that my Isabella still hadn't eaten breakfast, and I stopped in a tiny town, not far from where the wonderful little cottage I had purchased was located. I opened her door and offered my arm. She reluctantly took it, but her eyes were curious when she looked around and took in our surroundings. The small town was covered in snow, and the old houses looked liked they belonged in a fairytale. Very ideal. A small smile played on my angels lips and I pulled her closer.

"Do you like it?" I asked, tentatively, afraid to upset her again.

"I guess." She said, faking boredom. I smiled and kissed her temple. She didn't flinch. Maybe there was some hope for us after all.

We walked down a street with little shops and found a small diner. I opened the door for her, and ushered her into the warmth. Her cheeks were flushed in the cold, and I didn't want her to freeze. I ordered French toast for both of us from the friendly woman behind a counter. We sat down at a table for two, and Isabella seemed a bit happier while looking out the window where snowflakes had begun to fall.

A young, lanky boy came out with our plates and I saw him eye my angel and give her a not-so-discreet wink. She looked at me, worried, while chewing on the toast.

"Americans, no?" He asked her, with his back turned to me.

"Yes." I answered coldly and glared openly at him when he turned to me. Isabella kicked my leg under the table.

"Excuse Edward here, he's a bit cranky from the long flight." She gave him a genuine, sweet smile which he immediately returned. _She was only supposed to smile like that for me!_

"Hope you enjoy your stay." He smiled again and left the table, obviously uncomfortable with my behavior.

"What exactly was that?! She whispered fiercely, her eyes shooting daggers at me.

"He looked at you like you were a piece of meat!" I whispered back, furious that she was so naïve.

"He was being friendly!" Her voice raised an octave. I shook my head at her, telling her with my eyes that this conversation was over. Angry tears glistened in her eyes, something that seemed to had happened a lot the last few days. She stood up from the table.

"I'm going to the restroom." And then she disappeared. I put my head in my hands. She didn't understand. It wasn't acceptable to look at her like that when she was mine. I had to protect her from all the douche bags out there. I started to wonder what she was doing after five minutes. I anxiously watched the door to the restrooms, when something caught my eye. Isabella had just put her credit card into one of the pay phones on the other side of the diner. _What was she doing? _Although I thought I had a pretty good idea. I swiftly made my way over to her, and put a firm hand on her shoulder just when she started talking.

"Hi, is Char..." I took the receiver from her and put it back in its cradle. She sighed and turned to me, but without meeting my hard stare. I dragged her back to the table by her elbow, left some money and pulled her out of the diner. Once in the car I turned to her. I was boiling.

"And what exactly was _that_?!" I repeated her words from earlier. She was crying, _again_. Fuck. I always made her cry. I reached forward to touch her cheek, but she moved as far away from me as possible. She didn't think I would hurt her, did she? I lowered my hand. The anger had been replaced with guilt. She wouldn't even let me touch her.

"Edward," she began in a hoarse voice, "you have to stop this."

My head bowed in shame. I didn't think a simple sorry would cover that. I refused her to call her own father. The very man that was half of the reason she even existed. But he would take her away from me, surely. I pinched the bridge of my nose and pulled my hair, without looking at her tear-stained face. I always managed to hurt her. I heard a defeated sigh and felt one of her tiny hands run through my hair.

"Edward, look at me." She coaxed in a gentle voice. I couldn't do it. "Please, Edward." She tried again. She shouldn't have to beg for anything. I turned to her. Her eyes were wide pools of sorrow. She looked so small in the seat of the car, so vulnerable. I rubbed my eyes. I was tired, no, exhausted. I didn't want anymore fights and tears. I didn't want to hurt her anymore, but I couldn't control myself. She needed to understand that I would always love and protect what was mine. _And she was mine_. I put on a hard mask.

"This will not be repeated, Isabella. Call your father when I'm present." My voice was emotionless. She shook her head slowly, sadly. I put a hand on her knee and started the car. The ride was silent.

We arrived to the house on the country side twenty minutes later, and I parked the car in the garage. She got out of before I could open the door and slammed it shut. I ignored her and took a good look of the house. It was a forest green color, two-story house, with an old feeling to it. It was newly renovated, and I knew she would love it, no matter how angry she was at the time. She was waiting on the porch with crossed arms and a murderous expression on her face. I kept my face expressionless when I opened the door and turned off the security system. She stalked off into the house. _Shit_. I was so tired of this. I ran after her, through the small but cozy living room and up the old wooden stairs. I found her in the dark blue bedroom where she had laid down. She looked so broken. Did I do that to her? I was such a monster. I wondered if she would let me hold her.

"You can't continue being this controlling. It's confusing. I have no idea how to react." She suddenly said, her words muffled by a pillow. Was I controlling? Probably, I realized now. I had always wanted to be in control, through my whole life. I was frozen in the door way. If there was some way I could take control of the situation, I would. In my work, in any unexpected situation... In my relationship with Isabella. I loved the power, I knew I did. But of course that didn't justify how I was treating her. I was just too used to it. And hell, she did let me take control, always. Well, until now. I was so confused. I carefully lay down next to her, and stroked her hair lovingly. It felt like I always had to apologize, and I didn't know for how long she would put up with me. I couldn't let her leave.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

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Edward is an ass and it seems like Bella soon has had enough.

So, I have chapter 9 written already, that's great, huh? It's gonna be _angsty_... Number 7 will be up sometime soon.


	7. You Love And Then It Hurts

Hmm, yeah, here's chapter 7. Bella has very, very soon had enough of this. Good for her, bad for Edward.

I don't own Twilight and I guess people have written Assward before.

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**7. BPOV**

_"I'm sorry."_

I couldn't bring myself to forgive him this time. I was too scared of how far he would go the next time if I did. He wouldn't even let me call my father. I had decided to call him to make sure that he knew that I wasn't on Ireland because I wanted to. If he knew that Edward had forced me to come with him, I was pretty sure that he would make sure he never got the chance to do it again. I didn't want to break up with Edward, but this had just become too much. I was scared of him. And _for_ him; if he ever hurt me, physically, I didn't think he could live with himself. It felt like it had been close a few times lately. He already had a hard time accepting the light bruises that had showed up sometimes. I never noticed the pain that caused them, and it was no big deal. He was strong and I bruised easily. _Yeah, continue to tell yourself that_.

I sat up when the tears had dried, and saw Edward asleep, next to me. I wondered when the last time he slept was. He looked a lot younger in his peaceful slumber. And he was beautiful. The square jaw and perfectly straight nose, the chiseled cheekbones and soft lips. His bronze hair was messier than usual and there were bruise-like shadows under his eyes. He was perfect. I sat up and was just about to get up when I felt a hand lock around my wrist.

"Stay." He whispered. I shook my head.

"No." I needed to get away before I ended up in his arms, forgiving him.

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me down again.

"Please." He whispered, his hot breath in my ear. How did he do it? He always got what he wanted. I let him hold me, but I couldn't relax. We needed to work this out. That was why we were here.

"Edward." I began.

"Hush." He interrupted before I could continue. "Let me just hold you for a while. Please?" He pleaded with me.

"But..." He put a warm hand over my mouth.

"No." He held me close, my back against his chest. I could feel it rise with every breath he took. He still had his hand over my mouth, and it was difficult to breathe. He noticed.

"Please be quiet." He said in his velvety voice and removed it.

"No, we need..." He put it back and held me tighter.

"I'm asking nicely. Please be quiet." He removed it again and put it on my hip instead, the other arm still around my waist.

"Really, you..." I was startled when he rolled us over so he was hovering above me, supporting his weight with his arms on each side of me.

"What part about 'please be quiet' is it that you don't understand?" He asked in a low voice, with his lips just touching mine. His green eyes darkened. Lust? I swallowed. We had been together for three years but never made love. I knew Edward put me on some kind of pedestal, _his innocent angel_, and I never pushed him, mostly because I was content with our relationship as it was, though the time for sex would come, (I _did_ know that Edward was a bit frustrated, much to my amusement). I guess it kind of made me feel special, I _had_ heard about his less angelic college adventures from his sister.

He smelled so sweet, but I fought it and turned my head away, my hands pushing his chest. He didn't move. God, sometimes I hated to be this petite.

He took my chin in one of his hands and turned it back. He kissed me lightly. Again and again. He knew he drove me crazy when he did that, and soon I started kissing back. I caught myself after a few moments and tried to turn away again. He wouldn't have that. He continued with his sweet, torturous kisses until my head spun. He rolled off me and onto his back, breathing heavily. He was such an ass. I sat up and slapped him.

He shot up from the bed, eyes burning with rage. Rage he had no right to.

"Have I ever raised a hand against you, Isabella?" He spoke in a strained voice and leaned over me.

"Have I ever kissed you against your will?" I responded acidly. He chuckled darkly.

"It actually seemed like you kissed me back. Quite eagerly." Amusement clear in his voice.

I stood up on my knees and slapped him again. He glared at me and grabbed my shoulders to lift me off the bed. He spun me around and took hold of my wrists behind my back. I struggled to get free. Useless, as usual. He held them tightly in one of his hands. Then I felt the silky softness of... no way. _He did not just do that?_ He let go of me and spun me around again, so I was facing him. I couldn't move my wrists. He looked smug, a smile tugging his lips, eyes still dark. Then it disappeared and he looked sad again. He tenderly took my face between his hands and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"I love you." He simply said and caressed my cheek. I sighed.

"I love you too." His cheek was a light red color and I felt guilty, until I remembered my tied wrists.

"Are you going to untie me now?" I asked, batting my eyelashes, trying to light the mood. The absurdity of the situation made me laugh, a dry, sarcastic laugh. It was twisted. He laughed too, for the first time in a long time. He pretended to think about it and pursed his lips.

"Hmm... No?" He said like it was a question. I raised my eyebrows, incredulous.

"No, I don't think so." He continued and batted his eyelashes, imitating me. My jaw dropped.

"Have some sympathy for your abused boyfriend." He smiled crookedly. I sighed, ashamed.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quietly. He just nodded and held me to him, releasing my wrists. I leaned my head against his hard chest and sighed again.

He was so good at distracting me.

I managed to relax for the rest of the day, pretending that I actually wanted to be here. The house was amazing, I loved it. Everything looked charming and old, like the ones in the tourist guides. Heavenly. I wished it had been summer or autumn though, I'd never really liked snow. We cooked together and I tried my best to ignore the tension between us. I would have to talk him out of this, and it wouldn't be easy.

"How long are we staying here?" I asked before we went to sleep and Edward entered the bedroom. He was quiet for a few minutes and avoided my eyes.

"I don't know." He shrugged and lay down next to me. I bit my lip; I was so used to him having a plan.

"Days, weeks, years?" I continued stubbornly. I wasn't planning on staying more than a few days, not against my will. He ignored my question and cupped my face, tracing my lower lip with his thumb. He wasn't getting away so easy, so I turned my head away.

"Don't. We have to get back before the next semester. I have lectures to attend."

He shook his head.

"You're too smart for college." He smiled and his green eyes sparkled. I sat up and glared at him.

"I _want_ to go to college. You can't keep telling me what I can or cannot do!" He clenched his jaw and sat up beside me.

"You're my responsibility. I should take care of you and keep you safe." He said through gritted teeth.

"I _am_ safe at home. There's no one threatening me any longer, is it?" I whispered, since yelling didn't help the situation. His face softened.

"No, but it could happen again. You're always in danger because of me." He began. "And I would die if I lost you. I... wouldn't survive if you left me either."

"So that is what this is about? Why don't you just trust me when I say that I love you?" There was a small accusation in my tone, but I tried to stay calm. Edward looked like he was in pain.

"I trust you, but not other people." I barely heard him. He reached up for the light switch and the room went black, which meant 'end of conversation'. I lay down, annoyed.

"You're mine", he said in the dark, a bit hesitant, "I won't let you go. You can never leave me." I almost panicked. This was getting too much for me to handle. I stayed frozen when he put an arm around my waist and kissed me goodnight.

"Please relax. I'm going to take care of you." He whispered and kissed my shoulder.

I had to do something. I waited until his breathing had evened out before slipping out of the bed. What was wrong with him? He had never said something like that. I quietly snuck out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I had to call my father so he could get me out of here. I didn't switch the lights on and went to the kitchen to make the call. I found the wireless phone and started to dial the number. I must have been so concentrated that I didn't hear Edward's quiet steps until he snatched the phone from me. I stared up at him in disbelief. How come he always woke up when I didn't want him to? He put the phone on the kitchen counter before turning back to look down at me with clenched jaw and lips in a thin line.

"You never learn, do you?" He said acidly. I felt like crying, he had never treated me like this before. I looked away to hide my tears from him, even though the room was dark. His eyes were frozen, expressionless emeralds.

"What am I going to do with you?" He whispered and sounded almost defeated. I dared to glance at him in the dark. He had closed his eyes. I looked away again and a sob escaped my throat. He gently tugged my arm and started to lead me out of the kitchen. I was too tired and sad to even try to fight back. I trailed behind him up the stairs and into the bedroom again. I continued to sob. I just wanted to get out of this nightmare. He lit the lamp on the night stand and the light illuminated the dark room. Then he went back to the door and turned the old key in the lock before pulling it out. I couldn't even make myself care if he locked me up, it hardly made any difference to how I was already living. I fell down on the bed crying, again. He wasn't Edward anymore.

He stood on his knees next to the bed when I finally looked up from the pillow I'd been muffling my sobs in. He looked absolutely agonized. His perfect features were frozen in pain. He held the covers of the bed so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"I..." He started, but shook his head. He continued after a while. "You need to understand that I... That I'm the only one you need. I love you. You don't need anyone else. I can and _will_ be the only one to take care of you. Please understand." His voice and eyes were pleading with me. I honestly couldn't say that I understood. The thought of _leaving_him hadn't even crossed my mind until he had started acting like this. And even now, I only thought that we needed a break. I was too dependent on him, which, I guess, was his point, but I didn't like it. I didn't even understand what he wanted from me. Did he want me to never leave this house and keep me to himself twenty-four/seven? I had taken care of myself my whole life, until I met Edward, who did nothing else than taking care of me and controlling me. He must have seen something in my eyes, because he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Can I lie down with you?" He almost begged.

I wasn't too sure that it was a good idea, but when had I ever been able to say no to him? Especially when he was this pained and soft. He always won.

"Okay." I whispered and moved a bit to the side. The relief on his face was almost comical if the situation hadn't been so absurd.

"Can I hold you? Please? I know I don't deserve it, but..." Tears were streaming down his face and it was his time to sob next to me on the bed.

"Okay." I whispered again, and new tears started to fall. His arms immediately closed around me and we lay crying in each other's arms. I couldn't forgive him this time.

How did we end up like this?

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Feel free to review!

I want to get chapter 8 up as soon as possible; I feel so bad for Bella.


	8. Rip Right At The Seam

So, I needed to post this chapter quickly.

Number 8. I think Edward is quite delusional in the beginning, I think. Ha!

I don't own Twilight. Do you?

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**8. EPOV**

I smiled through my tears. She had finally accepted this. She had let me take her in my arms. My sweet, innocent angel had finally agreed to stay with me, and only me, right here. I had never been happier. Now we had a whole future ahead of us. She would never leave. We could get married... maybe we could have a baby. An adorable little girl, a copy of her mother. _Make love... _I smiled broadly while I held my Isabella's shaking body in my arms. She cried so hard, it must hurt physically. I tried to sooth her, but she wouldn't calm down. Why was she so upset? It wasn't fair that I was smiling while she was crying.

"Hush, angel, angel, calm down. I'm going to take care of you, I promise. You'll be happy." She just shook harder. She looked like a fallen angel. She should be happy. I would do anything to make her happy. Well, at least as long as it meant that I could stay with her. But she wanted me here. She let me hold her, didn't she? I didn't know what to do except for holding her carefully but close.

I knew we had had a few horrible days lately and I, too, had been horrible to her, but we were fine now. She needed her sleep.

"Try to relax, please." I begged her and kissed her hair. I didn't understand how someone could cry for so long.

"I love you, I love you." I chanted and eventually she stopped shaking and her breathing evened out. I could feel her relax and eventually she fell asleep.

I turned the light off and fell into a light slumber but woke up when I heard her whimpering.

"No, no, no." She repeated over and over again. Was she having a nightmare? She was trying to struggle out of my arms in her sleep. That had never happened before, always when she had a nightmare she would cling to me as strongly as her tiny arms would allow. Did she even try to run away from me in her sleep? What had I done to make her want to be away from me? I loved her and took care of her. She needed to be safe, especially since those calls. She would never be safe with anyone but me. She never listened to reason. I held her small frame tighter to my chest, ignoring her struggling arms.

We didn't get much rest that night, and I was up early to throw down _a lot _of coffee. I was ashamed when I noticed that the door to our room was locked; she wasn't a prisoner, but I couldn't think clearly yesterday. Isabella had finally fallen asleep after a few hours of nightmares, and I decided to let her sleep in. I was thinking about what I would say to her when she woke up while I was showering. Sometimes I almost thought she was scared of me, as if I could ever use violence anywhere near her! Hurt her on purpose! I didn't even like to raise my voice at her. The last weeks had been a nightmare for me. I needed her to forgive me for my behavior and to stop trying to fight me when it came to this. Last night had felt like acceptance, but after the horrid dream she must have had, I was not too sure. We needed to sit down like grown-ups and discuss all that had happened. I would not let her go back to New York, I was way too selfish for that. I wanted to be the only one who held her heart. Maybe I could bribe her. I smiled at the thought, she would never accept something like that.

I stopped my inner ramblings and stepped out of the shower to put some clothes on and prepare Isabella's breakfast. My Blackberry rang and I found it in the pocket of my coat. I groaned when I saw the name of the caller.

"Yes, Alice? Isn't it like two in the morning in New York?" I answered a bit sourly. This was none of her business.

"Ever heard about New Years Eve? Where's Bella? Emmett told me you were on Ireland." She asked suspiciously and ignored my rude tone.

"She's here with me." Didn't she understand that I would never leave Isabella home alone?

"I've called her ten times. Why isn't she answering?" Alice did not sound happy for once.

"She forgot her cell at home." I didn't even understand why I was explaining this to my sister.

"Emmett told me you two had a fight. Why is she there with you?" I rolled my eyes and started pacing in the kitchen. Wasn't that obvious?

"We're trying to solve it."

"What? She went with you even though she was pissed as hell? Did you force her to come to Ireland?" My pixie sister sounded angry. I clenched my jaw. Exactly what did Emmett tell her?

"I know you and I know Bella. She would never go if she was angry." She continued. I exhaled loudly.

"This is none of you're business." I cut in.

"Of course it's my business. You're family! I'm on the next plane there." She sounded furious. I hated that meddling fashion geek.

"No you're not! This is between Isabella and me." If Alice would come here it would definitely become a disaster. We would work this out on our own, my way.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Then she hung up.

I pulled my hair frustrated. If Alice found out what had happened she would just take my angel away from me. I _did_ force Isabella to come with me here, it just didn't seem like that way at the time.

Isabella didn't come downstairs for several hours. She couldn't keep hiding, we needed to talk. Really talk. I took a few calming breaths. I would not loose my temper this time. I slowly opened the door to the bedroom. She was curled up in a ball on the bed under a quilt. The shame fell heavy on my shoulders. I just made her unhappy. I didn't deserve her.

"Isabella." I spoke gently and sat down next to her. She peeked up from the quilt with red and swollen eyes.

"I think we need to talk."

"Take me home, Edward, please. Please." The pain in her voice broke my heart, but the pain I imagined if she ever left me was excruciating.

"I can't."

"Why not?" She asked agonized. It didn't look like she had any tears left to cry.

"You would leave me. You would find someone else. I want to be the only one you love. And you could get hurt because of me." I put my hand on her arm, but she moved to the side, not allowing me any contact. She must have been so angry with me. I put my hand back on her arm.

"Don't touch me." She was hurting so badly because of me. I pulled my hand back.

"Just take me home, please, Edward, please." She _begged_. I was such a monster. I refused her when she _begged_. I shook my head and avoided her pleading eyes. She hid her face under the quilt again.

"Just talk to me, angel." I whispered, but didn't touch her although my hands were aching for it. "Why is it so bad to be here?"

She was quiet for a long time.

"I don't _want_ to be here. I want to have my own life, with friends, family and college and the Edward I knew before." Her voice was shaky as if she was afraid.

"I'm still the same, I just love you more and more each day. I _need_ you all to myself." I tried to explain. She rapidly sat up.

"It's not love, Edward, and if it is, it's some kind of twisted, obsessive love. It's not normal." She looked me straight in the eye and gave no room for protests as she continued.

"You don't care about how I feel about all of this. You forced me to go with you. You took away my will. And because of that, I..." She abruptly stopped and put a hand over her mouth. I looked at her, confused.

"And because of that you...?" I coaxed. She needed to get all of this out before I could reason with her and tell her how wrong she was.

"Nothing." She looked shocked with wide eyes and a horrified expression in her beautiful face.

"Tell me, just get it out." I tried soothingly.

"No." She violently shook her head.

"Isabella." I said sternly. I needed her to tell me how she felt.

"You're doing it again." She whispered. I frowned. _Did what?_

"Taking away my will. Forcing me to tell you. Commanding me what to do." She explained. I thought about it while looking deep into her anguished, chocolate eyes. She was right. But if she only agreed to stay with me, we would never have to go through this again. I took her face between my hands but she tried to turn away.

"Don't touch me." She pulled my arms with her whole strength, which wasn't really impressive. _I could always touch what was mine_. I kept my hands in place. Her usually warm and loving eyes were suddenly cold, almost callous.

"Do you want to know what I was going to say?" She whispered fiercely. I nodded, I had never seen that look in her eyes before, but it couldn't be good. Her eyes never left mine when she told me the words that shattered my heart and whole life.

"I hate you."

I gasped in shock. The pain immediately ripped through my whole body, and my arms fell limply to my sides. My heart broke into a million little pieces. The words echoed in my head. _"I hate you."_

What had I done? I had driven her away with my love. I gasped for air. I opened my mouth to tell her she was wrong, that she didn't hate me, but nothing came out. She still looked at me with those, cold, frozen eyes. Her pale, heart-shaped face was serious.

_She did hate me._

The pain wasn't excruciating, it was far worse. It was lethal. She knew she could kill me with those words, and she did.

She really hated me.

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Now that hurts, doesn't it?

I should just be really mean and leave you all dangling here for a week or two. Wouldn't that be great? I'm almost as much of an ass as Edward.

Oh, and _thank you_ for your reviews. They're all really great.


	9. So Lost

The very chapter 9. It's going to be _angsty.  
_Bella is beating herself up for Edward's mistakes as usual.

I don't own Twilight, and some random guy (yeah, guy!) at my school borrowed my paperback copy of it and didn't return it before we went on summer break. Now I have to track him down.

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9. BPOV

_"I hate you."_

God knows I didn't mean it. I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. I watched as in slow-motion the many emotions that flickered in his eyes. My whole body was frozen. I had never seen someone look so pained. I would never forget the sight; the way his once proud shoulders hunched, his beautiful, emerald eyes loosing all their shine, fading into two empty plastic gems. I don't know for how long we sat like that, in the pieces of our shattered hearts. I wondered what went wrong, and suddenly I could see every mistake we'd made, both of us. They way I had never stopped him or told him no when he ordered me around in the beginning, the times I had stubbornly ignored his wishes when he asked instead of commanded, and those last words that made our world fall apart. And the times he had taken my will and choices away, the way he never actually listened to me, the times he would use his physical strength to restrain me. I still loved him, oh, god how I loved him. I dared a glance on his face, etched in pain, his eyes a dull, green colour. He stared right into the air but suddenly snapped out of it, perhaps sensing my lingering gaze.

"Of course I'll take you home, are you ready to go now? Would you rather go to Seattle or New York? You can take the jet, I'll fly commercial." He rushed the words out without looking at me and got up to hurry out of the room before I had the chance to say anything.

I sat on the bed in shock. He really did believe that I hated him. What had I done?

He came rushing into the room after a few minutes, never meeting my eyes while he spoke.

"We don't need to pack anything, it's unnecessary, and I'm sure you want to get out of here as soon as possible. You'll be in Seattle in no time at all. Or if you'd rather have the penthouse, I'll move out. But you obviously don't want anything more to do with me, so Seattle it is, I guess?" His was was emotionless as he rushed out the words.

"Edward." My voice sounded weak. He stared somewhere over my head.

"Yes?"

"I didn't mean what I said, I really..." He interrupted.

"Stop it. Are you coming?" He asked calmly and motioned to the door. I rose to my feet on shaky legs and almost expected Edward to put his arm around me like he always did, I needed it. But of course he just walked out behind me and down the stairs without saying a word. He helped me into my coat, but without touching me more than necessary. I wanted to comfort him and tell him how much I loved him, but he didn't give me the chance, he didn't even look at me as he opened the passenger door for me.

The ride to the airport was silent except for the few times I tried to apologize, but he would just shake his head and tell me to stop it. He got me safely on the jet, but paused in front of my seat with watery eyes.

"I still love you," he said in a low voice, "so I promise you will never have to see me again. I'm just hurting you." His voice cracked and his hand twitched, as if he wanted to touch me but restrained himself.

"No." I croaked out. He couldn't do this. I should never have said those words. Maybe I could have been happy with him and only him. He was my life, he couldn't just leave me. It would kill me.

"I'm not going to hurt you anymore. But I am going to ask one more thing from you." He had turned his back to me. I wanted to get up and pull him close to me, but I was frozen.

"Promise me you will be happy."

And then he left.

Was he serious? I was curled up in the back of my father's car, on my way home from the airport. Edward's words echoed in my mind. _"Promise me you will be happy."_ I could never be happy without him. If I had to choose between living without him and living with _only_ him, giving up everyone else, the choice would have been obvious. But he didn't want me after what I said. How could I have been so stupid? He said he still loved me, but how could he after I hurt him so much?

"I'm going to kill that boy, Bella." Charlie looked at me in the review mirror with a furious expression on his face. He had dark shadows under his eyes, and his curly brown hair was a mess. He looked much older than I remembered him. I had arrived to Seattle in the late evening.

"Stop it, dad." I whispered. "It was my fault." Edward must have called Charlie and told him everything, brutally truthfully, probably, judging by Charlie's anger. Not even caring about saving his own skin from my father's fury.

Charlie snorted.

"That boy has been nothing but bad for you." He said sternly.

"Stop it!" I raised my voice. "I love him, Charlie! You don't know what happened."

"I know enough. You look like hell, Bella." He stared at the road.

I hid my face in my hands. I needed Edward.

We arrived to the house half an hour later, and I got out of the car and dragged my feet up the stairs to the only guest room in the house. My dreams were haunted with pictures of Edward walking away. It hurt to think about him, but I craved him like a drug.

I got up in the morning, even though I had just planned on staying in bed for the rest of the day. Edward would have wanted me to eat breakfast, so I did. My parents were still asleep when I settled at the table with my bowl of cereal with milk and strawberries, the thing that Edward always fed me for breakfast. I remembered the way one of his arms would lock around my waist and the other feeding me perfect mouthpieces while he whispered encouraging words in my ear. I didn't realize how much I actually enjoyed it until now. He was so caring.

I was pathetic, I couldn't even go one day without him. How would I ever be able to survive without him? _"I promise you will never have to see me again." _Those words were crystal clear in my head and tears gathered in my eyes. How could I have been so stupid, telling the man I loved I hated him? He had looked so hurt, his eyes dead. I choked back a sob and made my way up to the guest room again and cried into my pillow.

He wanted nothing more to do with me, and I didn't blame him. I was stupid and immature, when all he wanted was to take care of me and love me. I was startled when I felt a hand rubbing circles on my back, I wished it could have been Edward, but the touch was too frantic. I looked up and stared into the bright blue eyes of my mother, Renee.

"Bella, Bella." She chanted and pulled me in for a hug. "He doesn't know what he's loosing, I promise. He will come back to you in no time at all." And then she laughed dryly. "If Charlie let's him."

I just cried harder. I had cried more in the last days than I had in my entire life.

"You don't understand, I was so stupid." I managed to get out. My throat was sore from all the crying.

"We all make mistakes, honey, but I think this is what you two needed. Realize how much you mean to each other. You two were meant for each other. Edward really went overboard this time, and he needs to learn how to treat you right." She soothed. She had always supported our relationship, and kept Charlie from shooting Edward when we first announced it. I owed her so much, but found it hard to believe her.

"He doesn't want me back, he's too tired of fighting for us." I wondered if she could make out the words I mumbled. I had never helped our relationship the way he did, fighting for us with my dad, defending us when his family told us it was too early to move in together. I had just passively watched and trusted him to stand our ground alone. No wonder he was tired of me. Reneé motherly stroked my hair and held me for a little while. I had always felt more like her parent than the other way around, but now I noticed how much of support she really was. I had always considered her immature and childish, but when it came to love, she had always been understanding and caring, accepting my feelings for Edward, even though he was a bit older and, as she had giggled in my ear when we last visited, "quite a caveman". I hugged her tightly.

"There, there." She patted my back and pulled back to give me a mischievous smile.

"Do you know what you need, baby girl?" I shook my head.

"Booze!" She announced with a brilliant smile.

I looked at her, incredulous, and rolled my eyes. I let out an empty laugh and shook my head. _Mature, yeah right_. Only my mother would encourage her daughter to drown her sorrows in liqouir. Edward would hate it. _Yes, Edward wouldn't like it at all._

"No, mom, I don't think that's the best idea."

"Oh, well." She looked a bit disappointed. "Ben and Jerry's then?" I shrugged, I didn't really care, I just needed Edward.

The days passed in a blur, and my every thought was on Edward. What was he doing? Was he happy that he didn't have to care for me anymore? Had he met someone new? I tried to live like I would have with Edward. Eating healthy, relaxing with a book, not doing anything he would have considered dangerous. He had more influence on me now than ever before. The ache of being away from him grew stronger everyday, and I knew I would have to get back to the university soon for the next semester. Where was I supposed to live?

Reality came crashing down on me two days before I would have to attend my first lecture. I had nowhere to go, no one to stay with.

I should have trusted Edward to take care of me even though he didn't want me anymore when I walked out in the rain to retrieve the mail. I gasped when I recognized the neat writing on one of the envelopes. I ran into the house again and quickly ripped the letter open in the kitchen. A contract for a three-room apartment, signed by Edward. Maybe he did care a little about me, or maybe he just didn't want to waste the money he had already paid the college for my remaining semesters. A hand-written note fell to the floor. I picked it up with shaking hands.

_Bella,_

I was startled by my nickname, he never used it.

_Please enjoy your next semester,_

_Edward_

And that was it. One single line. I sank down to the floor and started to cry again. I shouldn't have been disappointed, but I was. Didn't he realize how much reading that would hurt? No affectionate words, just one tiny line of polite and detached words. I would have to get back to New York fast. Could I handle being in the same city as him? No, no, no. The chances of running into him were minimal, which brought both dread and relief. Alice had called me a few times, but it was always Charlie or Renee who answered, I didn't feel like talking to her. It would just hurt even more when she would try to meddle. He didn't want me and I had to accept that. He had pretty much thrown me on the plane and ran away seconds later.

I reached for the phone and called the airport.

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Oh, gosh, Bella is confused and delusional...

I guess it's Edward's turn to do the thing he does best in the next chapter. You know, being all angsty and dark and brooding.

If you want to, you could push that green button and tell me what you think.


	10. All You Ever Did Was Wrong

Okay, you reviewers just don't make sense.

Let me get this straight:

First you think Edward is an ass.  
Then Bella breaks up with him (anyone would break up with an ass, right?)  
And now you hate me because they broke up?

Sheesh, hard to please, are we?

Anyways... Edward left in New Moon, but he came back and they lived happily ever after (yada, yada, yada... Anyone else but me who hated vampire Bella?).

So come on, there's still a chance that they could get back together in this story. And I promise: no Jacob.

_Someone asked me why Edward is calling Bella "Isabella", and I guess it has to do with the way he's not really living in reality. At this point of the story, Edward doesn't really know the "real" Bella, only Isabella, who's just a very fragile imaginary girl he has put on a pedestal. His protectiveness has also turned into a need to control, and I do think that "Isabella" rings with a lot more authority than just "Bella"._

**So here's chapter 10.**

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**10. EPOV**

"What the fuck did you do to her, Edward?" My cousin put down two bottles of Jack Daniels and a package of cigarettes on the kitchen table in front of me. I hadn't smoked one since college. My eyes stayed unfocused and I barely heard him. She was gone. She hated me and she was gone. It had been a week since those words left her sweet lips, and one hour since I left our apartment after I came home from Ireland. I had made sure she had somewhere to live when college started again and that she was safe and sound. Alice had told me she didn't want to speak to her, but that she was alright. I had spent six days in bed, breathing in her scent on the sheets and pillows. I wouldn't survive without her, and yet I drove her away with my psychotic ways.

"Edward!" Emmett slapped the back of my head. "I said, what the fuck did you do to her?" I shook my head. I had never felt so much shame in my whole life, she would never, ever forgive me for this. I had broken her so badly that she hated me. The huge, burly man in front of me was glaring at me and opened one of the bottles. Emmett had always cared for Bella... yes, Bella, not Isabella. Isabella was just someone I had come up with, pretending that I would be the one owning her whole heart. Owning. I was so sick.

I picked up the other bottle, but saw Bella in my mind. She would wring her hands nervously, bite her lip and keep her distance if she was here and loved me. Which she didn't.

I brought the bottle to my lips, feeling the burn in my throat as I swallowed. It felt good. I took another sip. And another.

"I'll beat the crap out of you if you don't tell me." I couldn't make myself care. I deserved it and so much more. "I swear, if you as much as touched a hair on her head, you'll be dead." Emmett had risen from his chair. I shot up at once.

"I would never, _never, never, never_, use violence anywhere _near_ her!" I growled. He was sick for even suggesting that I would hurt her. _That_ way. That was probably the only way I didn't hurt her. This time. Emmett took a few calming breaths and sat down again, picking up a lighter.

His girlfriend, Rosalie, came strutting into the room, probably wondering about the shouting. She spotted us and walked straight up to Emmett and snatched the lighter from him.

"Don't even think about it, Em." She flipped her long, blond hair back like a freaking supermodel and turned to me.

"What are you doing here?" She spat and glared at me and the whiskey bottle with black eyes.

I didn't answer, so Emmett jumped in.

"Bella broke up with him." Rosalie's annoyed expression turned into a smug smile.

"So the girl finally grew a backbone? Wow." I clutched a hand over my heart at the stinging words, feeling even more pain. She ignored me and turned to Emmett again.

"I want that male chauvinist pig out of my house. Now!" She demanded, grabbing the two bottles we held and stalked off.

I shook my head, it was spinning a little from the alcohol. Rosalie and I had never agreed on anything, especially not on the subject of Bella. She thought I treated her like shit, though that didn't make her like Bella more. Maybe it was true, at least the last weeks. Or months.

Emmett patted my shoulder.

"I'd better get you out of here, before she kicks your ass." I obediently rose from my chair and wobbled a little. How much did I really drink? Bella would hate this. _Love the sinner, hate the sin_, I thought grimly to myself. No. _Hate the sinner, hate the sin_. She hated me.

Carlisle showed up at my place, after weeks of me calling in sick. I was lying on the couch in the library, where I had read so many times for Bella, when he walked in. His water blue eyes were wary as he took in my appearance. I had the photo of her taken when we were in Rome last year clutched to my chest. Her long, dark hair gave off a reddish shine in the hot sun, and she looked like a goddess. But now she was out of reach.

My father crouched in front of the couch. I was staring numbly at him. He had called me several times to make sure that I was okay, but I hadn't seen him since I left work a few days before Christmas. The biggest mistake of my life.

"Edward." He said, and ran a hand through my hair in a fatherly gesture. I tensed, but sat up, making room for him beside me. I looked everywhere but in his eyes. I couldn't stand the compassion and sympathy that would surely shine there.

"Come on, son, you can't continue like this. You have to get up, back to your life." He tried to put an arm around me, but I pushed it away.

"My life is gone. I love her, Carlisle, I fucking love her. She is my life, and she hates me." I whispered, stubbornly staring down at the hardwood floor, trying to hold back more tears. I must have cried gallons and gallons.

"I find it very hard to believe that Bella would hate anyone, Edward. And definitely not you." He spoke, this time putting a hand on my shoulder. Fuck. I was 26 years old. I shouldn't have to be comforted by my father.

"She said it right to my face. You should have seen her. She meant it." I was now standing stiffly before him, glaring. Carlisle stood up.

"Charlie told me everything." He said in a stern voice, blue eyes cold. I groaned and rubbed my eyes tiredly. I had called Bella's father after I left her on the plane, explaining everything that had happened. I thought he would have a heart attack, but he had just hung up.

"What you did, Edward, was out of line. So wrong. I have never even considered that you would go to such extremes. Of course Bella had a hard time handling it. But that girl is so utterly devoted to you, that there isn't even a slight chance that she could ever hate you. No matter what you do."

He walked towards the door, but stopped and turned around.

"By the way, you're going to the party at the main office on Friday. We're celebrating last year's profits.

I nodded, sinking back down on the couch.

The week passed slowly. I felt alone and cold. The guilt I felt hadn't evaporated one bit. My thoughts were constantly on Bella. I hoped she was happier now. As long as she was happy I thought I could survive. I kept myself busy with work, I had missed out on a lot. I would go home late at night and go to bed, breathing the little of her scent that was still left. If it was possible, I loved her even more now. I would call Alice once a day, to ask her about Bella, who had actually moved in to the apartment I rented for her. It was thrilling to have her in the same city. I felt like I was spying, but I couldn't let go of her.

My nightmares were all about how hurt her. I would wake up in a cold sweat, crying. In my dreams her eyes were wide with fear and she ran from me. It wasn't so far from the truth. I had promised to stay away from her, but I knew that that promise had ceased to mean much to me. If I ever got the chance to see her again I would happily beg for her forgivness and never hurt her again. My apologises lately had been empty reactions, the regret I felt for hurting her had always been true, but I didn't regret my actions at the time. I did now. They destroyed her. I would give up everything just to have a tiny place in her heart. But I would never have that. Not after what I did.

I was slowly driving down the streets to the company's main office. It was Friday and I would have to endure an evening with old, boring accountants, horny trainees, shady investors and trophy wives. I parked my Vanquish in my usual spot and took the elevator up to the top floor. Once I got out I was grated by a cheering crowd in the reception area. I faked a smile, shook some hands and searched for Alice, she had promised to be here. If Bella had been here I would have whispered all the unbelievable gossip about the employees, causing her to giggle and scold me for being so mean. My heart ache got worse. I caught Alice's eye at the other side of the room but froze in my tracks as I saw who stood beside her.

The angel turned to meat my stare, looking at me blankly for a fraction of a second, before looking back at Alice, horrified. _Bella, Bella, Bella_. She was so close. And so very far away. She didn't want to see me. She appeared to be scared to death by just the sight of me. I was still frozen in place while Bella angrily glared at Alice, still looking very much like a kitten. I smiled fondly. She wore my favourite dress of hers, Alice much have snatched it from our... _my _apartment. The deep blue colour looked lovely on her pale skin. I wanted to talk to her so badly, but that would just scare her off, and I didn't want to cause her anymore pain. Alice had grabbed Bella's shoulders in a vice-like grip. I couldn't let my sister hurt her, not after what I did. And still I recognized that Alice did exactly what I had done so many times, holding her and restraining her. She should be free. I hurried over to the two tiny girls and put a hand on Alice's shoulder while she was glaring back at Bella, whose eyes had grown huge as she was staring at me. She was so beautiful.

"Alice, let her go." I said in a low and calm voice. Alice spun around and smiled brilliantly.

"Oh, brother, I was just making sure she didn't run away from you." She said sarcastically. I shut my eyes tightly, the guilt consuming me once again. When I opened them Alice was gone, and I stood eye to eye with the love of my life.

I took a few steps backwards, to give her some space. I let my eyes rake over her body, maybe a bit inappropriately, but I needed to make sure she was okay. At least she hadn't lost any weight. Her paleness was natural, but her stance was a bit hunched. The blue dress she wore was a simple, strapless creation and I stared in awe. She stood completely still. I tried to read the emotions in her dark eyes. There was sadness and anguish in there, but no anger or hate, like I had expected. I wanted to comfort her, but didn't dare to touch her, afraid that she would run away. I tried to find my voice. The mingle party was still going on around us but I couldn't care less.

"Bella..." I whispered, trying to put as much of my feelings as possible in my eyes, all the love and adoration I felt for her. Her lower lip was shivering, her eyes tearing up. Oh, no, I made her cry. Again. How I wished I could take her in my arms, but she wouldn't appreciate it. Instead I stepped forward again, staring deeply into her agonized chocolate pools. _I love you, I love you. Forgive me_. There was so much I wanted to tell her, to apologize for, but being so close to her again made me forget how to use words. I just hoped that she wouldn't turn away. She didn't, but nor did she acknowledge me. I stood less than three feet away from her now, intoxicated by her presence. She truly was a drug. A drug impossible to quit.

"Bella..." I whispered again, a bit more desperate. God, how I needed her. But all of this was her choice. If she wanted to run away, I would let her. If she wanted to punch me, I would let her. Every second with her was worth it.

She bit her lip, those lips I had dreamt of kissing every waken hour since that dreadful day.

"Bella..." I tried a third time, this time the desperation clear in my voice. I just needed to hear her voice, just a single word. She twirled a lock of dark mahogany hair between her slender fingers while tears fell down her cheeks. I carefully took a small step forward, wanting to be even closer to her. Why was I always so selfish? She looked up at me, with flushed cheeks and the most heartbreaking expression on her angelic face.

"Edward..." She choked on my name, causing more tears to stream down from those endless eyes. "I can't."

She turned, stumbled and walked away. I watched as her tiny little body was swallowed by the crowd.

She walked away. Again.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah... Keep on hating. I would run too if I met my ex boyfriend/kidnapper.


	11. So Kind And So Strong

Chapter 11.

Maybe I should just write a prequel to this story of something. I love following the development in relationships, especially from the very beginning.

Anyways, here you go. Enjoy!

(I don't own Twilight)

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**11. BPOV**

I retrieved my coat from the closet and stumbled into the elevator in the heels that Alice had made me wear. She had promised that Edward wouldn't be here, but I should have known better. She persuaded me to go by telling me that Edward's parents would be here, and I really missed Carlisle and Esme. But of course that evil girl would try to meddle. As soon as I saw Edward. everything came back: the pain I had suppressed from being back in New York, all those times Edward had hurt me and lied to me, and the so very wrong feeling of relief to see him.

I had with the help of Alice and my mom gained some perspective on our realtionship, and realized that he had betrayed my trust so much. I wasn't angry with him, after all, I let him do it, I just didn't understand that I did at the time. I felt manipulated. I wondered just how naïve I was. And I was angry with myself for still loving him, and forgiving him so easily. And I really forgave him for everything he had done, I loved him too much to hold grudges.

I walked out on the street, motioning for a cab.

His eyes tonight had been so tender, so soft, the adoration making me melt. The way he spoke my name, as if I would disappear. I had to get out before I could throw myself at him, hugging him and never let go. There was so many emotions coursing through my body, I wasn't ready to handle this just yet. I wasn't ready to trust him. And I certainly wasn't ready to trust _myself_ with him.

I kicked the heels off as soon as I got in to my apartment and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. The apartment was too much, as usual. The colour scheme just the same as in the penthouse, light and grey colours, the tastefully furnitured rooms were luxurious and still comfortable.

I felt bad for intruding tonight, it was Edward's family business, and I had nothing to do with them anymore, even if I still loved Edward. _I should never have gone_, I mused as I was getting ready for the shower. I was about to pull off my dress when I heard a rapid knock on the apartment door. Who would visit me now? It had to be 10 pm.

I swiftly got out of the bathroom to open the door.

An enraged fashion geek shot past me and fell down on the couch in the living room.

"Alice?" I asked, a bit bewildered. Maybe I should have told her I went home after my little emotional breakdown.

"Bella." She started in the same stern tone Edward had used when he was getting annoyed. "Why would you run away from your soul mate?" Alice's black, spiky hair was a total mess and she looked like... she had cried? I carefully sat down beside her, upset.

"I couldn't handle it, Alice... the way he looked at me. It's not fair. I don't trust myself with him." My eyes were dry, and I was starting to feel a welcomed numbness. I had been too emotional for far too long.

"He does want you!" She stood up and she reminded me so much about Edward. I didn't say anything.

"Isabella Swan. He is my brother and you are my best friend and I will not have you two hurting anymore." She pointed accusingly at me and glared, fire blazing in her eyes. Her determination scared me and I shrank back.

"You should have seen him tonight. He looked like he would die from the pain." She paused to catch her breath. I was still sitting on the sofa, looking up at her. And the pain came back. Now I must have hurt him beyond repair. What was wrong with me? But did he really still want me? Did I want him? _Of course_ I wanted him.

Alice grabbed my arm and yanked me up.

"Since he's incapable of doing anything at the moment, _you_ are going to fix this." She pulled me after her, with a lot more strength than I could have mustered, although she was pretty much the same size as me.

She threw me a pair of shoes, not heels, and my coat.

"Alice..." I pleaded. "I can't take it, not now. Please."

She just nodded pointedly at my coat once and opened the door. Did everyone in the Cullen family have a will of steel? I reluctantly put it on and went after her.

We were speeding in her beloved Porsche when she started to talk in a serious tone.

"He's changed now, Bella, he would never do something like that again. This pain he's felt... he's become so vulnerable... so fragile. You have to be the strong one now." I felt traitorous tears gather in my eyes.

"I know he loves you, you love him and that you're both regretful. There is no problem, besides the low self-esteem and martyr tendencies you're both suffering from when you're together." Her voice was sympathetic. I thought about if for a while. Maybe she was right. But Edward always appeared to be so confident, except for his fear of me leaving. She stopped with a screech outside the building where we lived once.

"Up you go, and tomorrow morning I want to see you tangled up in bed, looking sickingly sweet. You got it?" I felt my cheeks heat up and I turned a bit hesitantly to Alice.

"You don't mean like... _that_?"

She laughed a tingling laugh and shook her head.

"Gosh, you're such a prude. And no, I didn't mean like... 'that'." She made quotation signs and pushed my shoulder.

"Work it out now, I love you both."

I got out of car very slowly on shaking legs, not turning back.

The guard in the lobby greeted me with a surprised expression on his face.

"It's good to see you again, Miss Swan. Mr Cullen got home not long ago." He was an old, sweet man that would always make both Edward and me crack up with his crazy stories.

"Thank you, J, you too." I answered in a shaky voice, heading for the elevators. I couldn't do this. We would just hurt each other. I swallowed hard and stepped in, my heart beating frantically. _I have to do this, I love him._

I shut off my brain, used my old key card to open the door and sneaked into the apartment. I had no plan at all. It was dark and quiet. I passed the living room when I felt, rather than heard his presence. I turned around, and surely, there he was.

He was sitting stiffly on the couch, looking at me like he didn't believe his eyes. And then they switched over, and were suddenly blazing with green fire, so much like his little sister's. I was instantly scared. He stood up but didn't walk forward. His pale face was glowing in the dark, and he looked beautiful in his rage.

"What do you think you're doing here?" He asked in a strained voice.

What was I doing here? Why was he so angry? _Probably because you have absolutely no right to be here, smart ass_.

"I'm sorry, I'll go." I said in a small voice, ashamed that I sounded so weak. His eyes widened and there was instantly regret there. I was confused by his mood swings.

"Shit, no, Bella... I didn't mean like that, I'm so sorry." He rushed out the words, sounding slightly panicked. "Why can't I ever do anything right?" He groaned and rubbed his neck.

I waited patiently until he had calmed down and watched me sadly.

"I just thought that Alice had forced you here, I'm sorry. You're welcome here anytime. Do you want me to leave?" The look in his eyes were too much for me to take. It looked like he was burned alive.

"N-no." I stuttered and looked down."But Alice persuaded me to c-come over here." It was hard to breathe. "I... No-o, we need t-to talk." I managed to whisper through my ragged breaths. Edward was instantly at my side, but didn't touch me.

"Bella? Are you alright? Please sit down for a while." He motioned to the couch, looking at me concerned and questioningly. I nodded and sat down at the edge. He sat down too, but as far away as possible.

"Is it okay if I sit here?" He asked unsure and bit his lip.

"Of course." I choked, burst from the emotional press and my tears were practically flooding down my cheeks. My body was shaking. I hadn't been this close to him for almost two months.

"Bella, please calm down, I'm so sorry. So sorry. Please tell me what you need, Bella. Bella!" He had moved closer but still didn't touch me.

I loved him so bad, the relief of being close to him again made my head spin. I wished none of this would have happened.

"You." I wanted to yell, but it came out no louder than a sigh.

Within a second I was cradled in his arms while he held on to me tightly, rocking my body.

"Bella, Bella, Bella..." He chanted, and his sweet breath fanned over my face. His face was so close, but I pressed my face into the crook of his neck, sobbing uncontrollably. He continued to chant my name and stroke my hair, also sobbing.

We cried for everything that had happened, all of our mistakes. Was this pain the price we paid for our love? I didn't want to know, I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget and start over. I was back in his arms, and no matter what he did, I would always love him. There had never been any doubt. He was an unhealthy addiction, but I couldn't care less, not when the pain from being away from him was killing me. He was obsessed, but wasn't I too? I just showed it in a different way than him; I let him do anything to me because I didn't want him to leave. And he would do anything to me to keep me from leaving. Then why didn't it work out? I would more than willingly give up all control to him, let him dictate my life, but he wouldn't want that. Not after this. Our relationship was doomed to fail because of all of our insecurities.

After a long while my tears stopped falling, and my breathing evened out. Being in his arms was a better feeling than I had ever had. He just kept holding me, lovingly rubbing my back and helping me relax. I didn't care about his reasons to do that at the time, but there was still a small chance that he had had enough and just did it out of pity.

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, clutching his shirt and breathing in his scent.

We would make this work.

No matter what.

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Aw man, now they're crying again. Edward is quite cute, letting his feelings show.

And I guess the story isn't over yet.

Review if you want to!


	12. When I Found You

_You know your mood swings are kind of giving me a whiplash._

Okay, so Edward is a hell lot better than me at staying away.

I don't own anything.

And I should probably apologize again. I'll just remove the ANs.

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**12. EPOV**

I carefully held on to her in her sleep. I couldn't stop whispering her name. She looked so fragile, and more beautiful than ever. She was so small, and I had panicked when the sobs racked through her body, looking like they would break her. I would never, ever break her like I did again. Never would I tell her one thing she didn't want to hear, if I could only have one, tiny piece of her heart, that was far too big for her small body. I loved this feeling, having her so close and being able to touch her again. I wished she wouldn't regret this in the morning. The last times I had touched her, I had been so harsh, too rough, not giving her the tenderness she needed to be whole. The feeling when she had whispered "you" was the single most amazing and painful thing ever. How was that even possible? How could I ever make this up to her? I couldn't believe that my sister had the guts to force her here, and I would have a word with her later. I would thank her. But now I was selfish again, I didn't know if Bella actually wanted to be here, or if she was just afraid of Alice's rage.

I caressed her cheek with the softest pressure, not being able to stop myself from touching the soft skin. She whimpered and clutched my shirt tighter with her tiny fists. I wished I could take all her pain away, making her forget all the times I had hurt her, but that was impossible. I was a monster, there was no denying it.

I remembered that evening when I took her to Alaska, when I had promised myself to be what she needed me to be. I couldn't even keep it for a few hours. I was pathetic. How could I have let myself go that far? If there was the slightest chance that she might not hate me, I would try for forever to earn her forgiveness.

From now on, it had to be her choice. Always her choice. No matter what my sick brain said.

I carried her to my bed, she was so light, and put her down. I pulled the quilt and covers over her, not wanting her to freeze. I didn't dare to kiss her anywhere, so I stroked her cheek with my thumb, once again relishing in the feeling. She looked so much like she belonged in my bed. _But only if she wants to_, I reminded myself.

I lay down beside her, like I had done so many nights before, but decided to not hold her. I didn't want her to wake and feel trapped by my arm around her. It was difficult when she rolled over after a while and snuggled into my chest.

I fell into a light slumber, but was too worked up to get much rest.

I woke up by a squealing in the doorway. I sat up, confused, and saw Alice standing there, in the light from the living room. Damn those key cards. I glanced to the side, seeing Bella asleep with her strapless dress ridden down, revealing some of her underwear. I quickly but carefully pulled the covers over her, and turned to scowl at Alice.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered as quietly as I could though I was upset.

"Oh, just visiting, brother dearest. I told Bella this would happen. So, did you work it out?" Her voice was light and chirpy. I glared at her.

"She was having an emotional breakdown and cried herself to sleep. So, no, sister dearest, we did not work it out. Get. Out. Now." I threatened, and my sister knew when I had had enough. She pursed her lips.

"Okay, I'll give you two until afternoon, that should be enough for anyone. Carlisle and Esme invited you to dinner tonight." She skipped out of the apartment, not affected by my mood. I shook my head and lay down again, careful not to wake Sleeping Beauty. I looked at the alarm clock. 7.30. I sighed heavily, hoping she wouldn't wake up anytime soon. She needed her sleep.

I inched closer to her, wanting to feel her warmth and contently closed my eyes. I knew we would have to talk eventually, but for now, I just enjoyed being near her.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I felt warm little fingers tracing my lips. I couldn't keep the smile off my face and opened my eyes.

The angel next to me blushed and hid her face in the pillow.

"Bella..." I cooed and brushed some silky hair from her face, half-hidden in the soft pillow. I waited patiently until she peeked up at me with sparkling, brown eyes, very different from yesterday.

"Sorry..." She mumbled and pulled the quilt over her head. I chuckled at her embarrassment. At least she didn't seem regretful, and I was going to enjoy that for as long as it lasted. I sneaked under the quilt too, smiling at her in the dark. I found her hand and squeezed it gently.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, wanting to hear her voice. She didn't answer for a minute.

"Fine." She toyed with my fingers. "I want to stay in bed today." She mumbled.

I was elated.

"Here?" I asked, and couldn't keep the hopeful tone from my voice.

"Mhm..." She closed the space between us and I cautiously put my arm around her small frame.

"Is this okay?" I asked, she shouldn't feel pressured. She just hummed contently.

I buried my face in her hair. I loved that strawberry shampoo. And then I heard her sniffle. I immediately pulled my arm away.

"I'm sorry." I apologized and moved away even further, not wanting to stress her. But she threw her thin arms around me, hugging me fiercely, probably using all her strength. I was confused.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry." He voice cracking twice. What did she apologize for? I was utterly confused now, but didn't want her hurting.

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked in a soft voice.

"For being stupid. I didn't mean what I said, I swear." The pain in her voice was evident. Did she blame herself? For my mistakes? This had to stop.

"Oh, god, Bella, please stop this." I begged. "You have every right to hate me, you know that." How could she even think something like that? She shouldn't apologize for my mistakes.

"Bella, " I removed the quilt and saw that light had started to seep into the room from the window. She looked up at me with red, swollen eyes. "please don't say things like that. You know that what I did was so very wrong and I will never, ever, be able to tell you how sorry I am, or make it up to you." I clenched my fists. This was killing me. "Please don't think that you did anything wrong." I was pleading with her now. She removed her arms but her fists were balled up. She hit my chest a few times.

"But I don't hate you! It was a lie." I had never seen a more honest and sincere face. Did she really not hate me? Despite all that I'd done? I looked into those deep eyes, searching for the truth. Then she had her arms around me again, clinging to me like there was no tomorrow. And she whispered in my ear.

"I love you." I drowned in the happiness those words brought with them. But I didn't deserve them, and never would. But that didn't mean that I couldn't love her back.

"I love you too, so much." I whispered softly. "I'll be better for you, I promise." And I meant it. I would never be anything less than perfect for her, not after I had felt the pain of loosing her.

"This is stupid." She mumbled into my shoulder after a while. I smiled a little sadly, and held her a bit more tightly.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. And then I remembered my nightmares, about how Bella was so scared of me, and I had to ask her something. We needed to talk.

"Were you ever... afraid that... that I would hurt you, Bella? I mean... physically?" I asked hesitantly, not knowing if I wanted to hear the answer.

A heavy silence followed. I feared the answer now. He tiny hands were scratching my neck when she answered in a quiet voice.

"Yes." She answered simply. I swallowed hard. She had been scared of me. Scared that I would purposely hurt her fragile body. That I would... I clenched my jaw at the word... _abuse_ her.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry." The agony was spreading like fire through my body, making it tense. She continued to rub my neck.

"I should have known better." She explained sadly. "But you just felt out of control at times, and seemed so angry." She was quiet after this, not breaking our embrace.

"Do you think that you would have if it had gone any further?" It felt good, and painful, to talk about this, but we needed it. I held onto her and answered.

"No." It was simple and true. No matter how furious my sick brain was, I would never have hurt her. I pulled away from her hug and cupped her face gently.

"Will you please do something for me?" Her choice, always her choice. She nodded more eagerly than I expected.

"Please tell me whenever I do something you're uncomfortable with or think is the least out of line. I really need it if this is going to work. I'm not going to hurt you again." I kissed the tip of her little button nose. "Will you do that for me?"

She smiled contently and nodded. She looked happier than I had seen her for months.

She licked her lips and blushed. My eyes automatically darted to her lips. Did she think it was too soon to kiss, or would she allow me to do that?

I inched a bit closer, trying to gauge her reaction, still having her face between my hands. A small, expectant smile played on her lips, and in her eyes was all the love I needed.

I closed the gap between us and tasted her impossibly soft and sweet lips. I tried to keep it chaste and sweet, but my body had other plans. My lips moved on their own accord down her jaw and then neck. I paused in the crook of it, humming contently.

"Bella, Bella... So beautiful..."

"You can say it if y-you want to." She said in a shaky voice into my hair.

"Say what?" I mumbled pressing another kiss against her neck. I was getting too excited, so I pulled away, just to stare at the angel before me. She was blushing brilliantly pink.

"Your Bella... or Isabella... I-I don't mind." She looked away, embarrassed. I was shocked. How could she still want that? I didn't own her.

"Bella..." I twirled a mahogany lock around my finger, hesitating. "I don't want you to feel like I own you, because I don't." She had closed her eyes and had a pained expression on her face. How come I always hurt her?

"But I do belong to you, I mean, I love you and I thought you said..." She trailed off. I thought I knew what she was going to say next.

"Bella, will you please look at me?" She opened her eyes little by little, peeking up under her lashes. She looked scared. I groaned, frustrated.

"I love you. Never doubt that." I said forcefully. I pulled her to my chest again, her head resting safely under my chin. "My Isabella." The words were sweet torture on my lips. I would call her that if she wanted me to, even if my heart screamed that it was wrong. I would do anything for her. I kissed her temple softly. The quilt and covers had slid off our bodies, and she was still in that dress, which did nothing for my self control. I was such an ass for even thinking about something like that now.

"My Edward." She giggled and clung to me. I groaned when she kissed my neck, she had no idea what she was doing to me. She pulled away, but reached up to kiss my lips again. Her lips were amazingly soft, easily giving away for the firmness of mine. Her hands had threaded themselves in my hair, gently pulling it. I pulled her on top of me, kissing her with a little more urge than usual. I could show her how much I loved her, I thought, intoxicated by the sweetness of her lips. I shouldn't let us get too far, she was pure, an innocent angel, and I didn't want to take that from her. Or did I? Of course I wanted to make love to her. But I didn't want to hurt her. Bella was still kissing me, making me dizzy. I was getting too excited, and she was lying on top of me, not the best combination. Or the perfect. I cupped her face, pushing her away a few inches. Her full lips were slightly redder than usual, and she blushed a bright pink. Her eyes were sparkling, and I had missed that.

"Easy now..." I chided, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She bit her lip and shook her head. She was irresistible. I lifted her off me, but kept her head on my chest.

* * *

We're not done yet. And this will most definitely not contain any lemons. Haha. I asked my boyfriend if he thought it was a good idea and he probably laughed for an hour.

"Are you going to write _porn_?" And then he completely cracked up. Boys, boys, boys...  
He shouldn't say anything, though, not when I found "The story of O" on his desk. Freaking scary. I think I'll have to sleep with one eye open whenever I visit him. Ugh... Creepy.

Next chapter will be up right away.


	13. What's Been Given To You

I don't own Twilight.

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13. BPOV

"Alice was here," he looked at the alarm clock, "two hours ago. I was surprised that you didn't wake up by her squealing." I smiled up at him. His eyes weren't dark and torn any longer, they looked like I remembered them; sparkling green, filled with love and adoration.

"She told me she wanted to find us snuggled up in bed today." I explained and blushed. He chuckled lightly, threading his fingers through my tangled hair. I must have looked horrible, so I hid my face against his shirt-clad chest. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, he hadn't left my side all night. I smiled at that. I loved how my head fit perfectly under his chin, against his chest.

"She said my parents invited us to dinner tonight." He sighed and I could almost hear him roll his eyes. "We don't have to go, if you'd rather stay in bed."

I pondered this for a while. I wanted to stay in bed with him all day, just talking and cuddling up to my old yet new Edward. He had changed so much, and now he was more perfect than ever. I knew that there was still things we would have to talk about eventually, but I was sure that we were going to make it. I trusted him again. But I also owed his parents; I would have to show them that we were okay now, let them see that we had forgiven each other.

"We should probably go." I muttered. He exhaled loudly and rolled me on top of him, so he could see my face. He looked at me tenderly.

"We don't have to." He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, leaving the ususal tingling feeling there.

"I miss Carlisle and Esme." I said and pouted. He narrowed his eyes.

"Don't tell me you didn't go see them just because of me." I huffed, rolling off him, onto my back, not answering. Why did he always blame himself? He turned to me, his face an inch from my own, one arm around my waist.

"They're as much your parents as mine. You know they see you as a part of the family." He smiled softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He added, regretful.

"No... It's just, they _are_ your parents, and it felt wrong seeing them after what I said to you." I tried to explain. He leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"When will you ever understand that I deserved it?" His smile was sad and his eyes stayed focused on something far away. "And I promise you, if you had just asked them, they would happily have kicked my ass for you." He suddenly smiled broadly, shaking his head at the mental image that sentence surely brought.

I giggled, something I had seemed to do a lot lately.

"I guess we'd better get out of this bed soon, or we'll be stuck here for the rest of the day." Edward said and got up, just to lean down and kiss my forehead lovingly. I nodded reluctantly and headed for the shower.

I went to the kitchen after getting ready for the day, and found Edward sitting on the kitchen island reading the newspaper with a cup of steaming coffee next to him. He looked up when I entered the kitchen. I smiled shyly, it had been so long since I'd seen him like this. He had showered too, and looked casual in his blue button-down.

"What would you like for breakfast?" He asked, putting the paper aside. My smile faltered. He always made me the same breakfast, why would he ask? I stood and stared dumbly at him. I thought we were almost back to normal. _Almost_ being the key word, apparently.

He frowned and slid off the counter.

"What's wrong, Bella?" He asked concerned. He shouldn't call me Bella. He should call me Isabella. He hadn't even called me angel since I got here. My head spun. Was I no longer special to him? I liked that he used something different than what everyone else called me.

"Bella?" He asked again, placing a warm hand on my cheek and leaning down to interpret my expression. "What did I do?" He looked unhappy and hurt. I couldn't keep doing this to him.

"Why don't you call me Isabella anymore?" I blurted out. Before he had the chance to answer I continued. "And you always give me cereal with milk and strawberries when you're making the breakfast. Are you not going to feed me either?" The questions came out as accusations, and it looked like someone had punched Edward in the stomach.

"What have I done?" He whispered with horrified eyes and removed his hand from my face. I didn't understand his reaction, I was just asking why we weren't back to normal. I refused to cry over this so I simply stared at him, not knowing what to do. He still looked horrified with wide eyes, staring back at me. He backed away a few steps.

"Bella, please listen to me." He took a deep breath and started talking in an agonized voice. "What did you ask me to call you the first times we met?" _It's Bella, Edward, seriously, I hate Isabella. _"What is your favourite breakfast?" _French toast, I love cinnamon. _"And why the hell would I feed you when you've been fighting with me over that for so long?" _I'm not a child, Edward._

I was stunned, and he was angry. His jaw was clenched and his stance tense with a furious expression on his face.

"I've messed you up, Bella. This isn't right." He walked out and I heard something shatter in the living room.

This, _us_, was as right as anything could ever be. I stomped after him, angry and scared that he would leave. He sat on the couch again, leaning his head in his hands. I stood before him with arms crossed. He was being stupid.

"Edward." I waited. He completely ignored me. "This_ is _right. I love that you call me Isabella, I love when you make me breakfast and I love it when you feed me, simply because it's you who's doing it." I rushed the words out in anger. I hadn't been so furious in my whole life.

He stood up again, leaning over me with his lips twisted in rage. His emerald eyes were on fire. This was more like the Edward I was used to.

"But it's not fair to you. You shouldn't have to change because of me. You should be yourself." He was livid.

"But I. Like. It." I pronounced every word carefully. His arms shot out to the sides.

"Yeah, see? I've messed you up so badly that you've lost yourself. You're not the Bella I first met." He had raised his voice and was almost yelling. I took a few steps back. Lost myself? I would do anything for him. He just didn't understand.

"Everyone changes." I muttered and looked away. He had changed, too.

"So now you love my controlling ways? Now you wish I would kidnap you and bring you around the globe against your will? Or maybe I should just lock you up and chain you to a wall? Or walk around with you in a leash?" He was mocking me.

I glared at him, he didn't understand what I was saying. Was he even listening?

"No. I like the way things were before Christmas." I answered coolly. He looked like he would explode.

"You did? Was that why you were crying when I got home that night? Was that why you refused to sit on my lap when I fed you, even though you claim you love it so much?" He spat. I didn't say anything.

I had been annoyed with his behavior back then, but now I missed it. He was just caring and loving when he did it.

"Didn't think so." He misinterpreted my silence and stalked off, back into the kitchen. I heard scrambling bowls and cupboards opening and closing. Angry tears fell down my cheeks.

He came storming back and pulled me with him, the grip on my arm would surely leave a bruise. I stumbled after him. What was wrong with him? He roughly placed me on his lap when he sat down on one of the bar stools with a bowl of cereal in front of us. He held me tightly to his chest with one arm and held a spoon in front of my mouth.

"Edward." I tried to protest. His hot breath was on my ear.

"So this isn't how you want me to treat you? I thought you said you loved it? Do you want me to shove it down your throat too?" He whispered acidly in my ear. I was at loss for words. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I shook my head, I was afraid of him again. He told me he would never hurt me this morning, no matter how out of control his actions were. I wasn't sure anymore.

"Edward." I whimpered through my tears.

"Now what, is my little kitten scared?" He asked with a velvety hushed voice, in a tone I didn't trust at all.

Was this what would have happened if I had let him out of control? If I hadn't told him I hated him, even though it was a lie? Would he really have been like this to me later? Maybe he wasn't aware of what he was doing. He would never hurt me. He promised.

It was impossible to move in his iron grip, so I resorted to pleading.

"I didn't mean like this. I didn't mean that I want you to kidnap me or refuse to let me speak to my parents. I just want the warm, loving Edward back." His arms still held me tightly, and he didn't say anything. I continued.

"I just want you to... to take care of me." Those were hard words to tell for someone who had refused it before. "To love me." I begged while sobbing and squirming. This would have been humiliating if it hadn't been Edward holding me. I held my breath and waited.

His grip turned into a warm embrace and his whole body relaxed behind me. He sighed heavily in my ear and turned me so I could see his face. He smiled a little, and all traces of anger were gone. He wiped some tears off my cheek and pressed a kiss to my forehead. He changed moods faster than ever. I was relieved.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked worriedly, his eyes zooming in on the red mark on my arm. He shut his eyes tightly and swore under his breath.

"Don't worry about it, it won't even leave a bruise." I tried to sooth, even though I was fairly sure that I would have his handprint there for a while.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I just needed you to realize... that you can't let me treat you that way. I let my temper out of control. I'm sorry. " He pressed another kiss to my forehead and smiled sadly.

I nodded. Maybe he didn't realize that he was quite strong.

"I know, but I didn't mean like that. We just... we need balance. Like before." I tried.

He frantically shook his head.

"No, no balance, Bella." He looked so guilty. "I can't handle that. I can't go back to being like that. I hate it." He whispered, letting his fingers barley skim over the red mark on my arm. I swatted away his hand.

"And why not? It's not like you're going to kidnap me again." He closed his eyes again.

"It might happen if you let me treat you like that again. From now on you're just going to tell me to jump, and I'll ask 'how high?'. Please Bella, don't let me do that again." He was pleading with me and leaned his head in to bury it in my hair.

"It doesn't work that way, Edward." I tried and ran my fingers through his tousled hair. "It's not fair."

"Yes it is, Bella. Everything is your choice from now on. I can't have you hurting anymore." He sounded agonized. "I love you, so much, don't let yourself get hurt."

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Chapter 14 is on its way, but I have no idea where to end this little story.

Feel free to review, but I'm not reading them.


	14. Every Little Dream

Here's chapter 14.

I think they have some things to discuss.

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**14. EPOV**

I was pleading with her to understand. Didn't she have a sense of self-preservation at all?

"Please. I want to keep you safe from me. You won't be if I you don't keep me in line. I need you, Bella." She could be stubborn. Why would she even ask such thing from me? Go back to be someone she was unhappy with? It didn't make sense. I had messed her up.

"Can't we just start over then? Forget what happened or how we behaved. Start over as equals. That's what I want." She mumbled, still with her hands in my hair. _Start over_, I thought. _As equals_. Maybe it would work. Get to know each other again. Of course I already knew everything about her, but she was still so unpredictable. If this was what she was willing to give, I would happily take it.

"Okay, let's start over." I gently whispered, breathing in her scent. It could work out, and I could be better for her. Giving her everything she needed, even if it was time and space away from me. I removed her hands from my head and sat her down.

"So, what do you want for breakfast?" I asked and tried to lighten the serious atmosphere. She rolled her eyes.

"French toast then, but I'm cooking!" She skipped over to the refrigerator while humming her lullaby.

I amused watched her stumble around in the kitchen as I finished my coffee. The only thing wrong in the picture was the soon-to-be bruise on her arm. I should be killed for that. And I would be, most definitely if Emmett saw it. I would have to be more careful with my temper in the future. She shouldn't have to be scared of me, like she had been.

"Edward?" Bella had turned her back to the stove and looked at me concerned. She followed my gaze and bit her lip. "Watch the toast for me?" She asked and left the kitchen.

When she came back she had put on long-sleeved cardigan. _Sweet, sweet Bella_, I thought. Always trying to sooth my guilt. She could hide it, but it would still be there. I still gave her a small smile when she kissed my cheek and put down a plate in front of me.

"Thank you." I said and watched her sit down on the other side of the kitchen island.

She smiled proudly.

"You're welcome. I like taking care of you." She said in a poor imitation of my voice. I chuckled. She was adorable. Like everything she cooked, breakfast was delicious.

"You should be a chef." I appraised her. She just blushed and thoughtfully chewed a piece of toast.

"I think I want to write after college, I mean, short stories or a novel or something." She said and her face grew redder. I smiled at her, wondering what she would want to write about. "Not just as a hobby." She looked down and refused to meet my eyes. Why was she embarrassed about that?

"But it could take years to get something published. And it would be wrong to stay home and use your money." I shook my head. She knew what I thought of this. What was mine, was hers too. I would happily start a publishing company for her. I smiled at the idea. She would be so angry. But she said 'home' and I had to ask her something.

"Are you moving back home?" I hated that I couldn't be sure of the answer, and that I would have to ask at all. She seemed confused by my sudden change of topic.

"Of course." She leaned her chin in her hands, looking like an angel. I smiled in relief.

"Bella." I leaned over and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You know that money means nothing to me. Not compared to your happiness."

"That sounds corny." She smiled, but it was a sad smile. I frowned, she shouldn't be sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked and took her hands in mine. I had learned to appreciate every touch the last weeks, so I held them gently, trying to store the feeling safely in my memory.

"Do you think you could keep the other apartment? I mean, if I... I don't know. If I need some time alone sometimes." She hid her face in her hair again, and my heart sank at her words.

"Of course. It's yours." I said, not being able to deny her anything. But the pain in my voice must have been obvious. She caressed my knuckles with her thumb.

"I'm sorry, I'm not saying that I will run away, I just..." I held a finger to her lips to silence her. She would never have to apologize to me again. She looked thoughtful for a while.

"Do you ever think that you judge me by my physical appearance too much?" She frowned. I raised my eyebrows. Physical appearance? I had to laugh.

"What?" She asked in a irritated voice. I just shook my head.

"I mean, I know I'm smaller than you, but I'm still as much of an adult. You didn't treat me like one."

I felt the guilt heavy on my shoulder again, the shame crashing like a wave over me. There was no anger in her voice or face, just disappointment. Had I ever done anything right to her? When I thought back now, I guess I could see what she meant. All those small things I'd done, making her feel like a child.

"I never saw you as someone less worthy. Never once did I _think_ of you as a _child_." I said forcefully, but wondered if it was true. She pulled her hands out of mine and put them in her lap. I immediately felt the loss.

"Then why did you treat me like one?" I could see her wide eyes tear up again before she looked away, hiding them from me. I so badly wanted to turn her chin so I could see them again. _But it was her choice. _

"I'm sorry. " I took a deep breath. "When we received the threats, I couldn't think clearly, I just wanted to get you out of here as fast as possible. But I didn't want you to be afraid. And you can be _so_ stubborn. And all those things that happened in Alaska and Ireland... It was just because I needed you close. I still do. And it became a horrible spiral. The more I... I don't know, _controlled_you, the angrier you got. I was afraid you would hate me and then leave, so I wanted you closer still. And became even more... possessive." My eyes were unfocused and my body burned with guilt and shame. Bella was biting her lip and caught a tear that fell down her cheek. "I know I was like this even before all of this happened. You don't understand just how much attraction you really hold. I was scared, still am, that you would realize how much better you can do." I continued my little explanation in a hoarse voice. Bella slid down from her chair and came to stand behind me, her little hands on my hunched shoulders. I relaxed and continued.

"I did take advantage of the fact that you _are_ tiny. The way I would force you into my embrace became kind of a security for me, that I could keep you and hold you. You wouldn't be able to run away, at least not physically." I hoped that at least something of this made sense to her. She leaned her head against my back. I waited for her to say something.

"I would never leave you." She mumbled. I wanted to believe her. If she could forgive me for all the mistakes I had done, she must love me. "I should have done something to stop you. But I just wanted you to love me. If I could make you happy, you wouldn't leave me." How could she think that? That I would leave her? I could hardly breathe without her with me. I stood up and turned to hold her, wishing she would never doubt the love I felt for her. I kissed the top of her head again and again.

"I love you, Bella. You know that." I murmured, but realized my mistake. "Isabella."

"You were so erratic. You were always so damn wound up and would throw a fit over nothing. I was afraid that you had grown tired of me. And you never told me anything about what was going on." She said in a quiet voice. She wasn't sad or angry, it just sounded empty. I didn't even realize that my actions could have come across as breakup-signs. I tightened my hold on her.

"And then you suddenly bring me to Ireland for god-knows how long. How long were you thinking of staying there? And what exactly were you planning to do? We couldn't stay there forever." She almost sounded amused. I lifted her chin to look into her eyes. They were confused. Even I didn't know what I planned, so I just frowned and shook my head.

"I don't know. I wanted to keep you to myself. Here, there are others that you care for, and I wanted to be the only one you love. God, I sound horrible." I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. Her tingling laughter made me open them again.

"You're stupid." She said bluntly. I bent down and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Why thank you." I rolled my eyes. It was true.

"Of course I love other people." My heart beat painfully. "But not in the same way I love you. And you love other people, too. You absolutely _adore_ your family." I exhaled in relief. I _was_ stupid. I bit my lip, but she reached up to tug it away.

"I didn't quite see it that way." I said, still with her thumb on my lips. I kissed it.

We stood like that for a while, just looking at each other. I saw her in a different light now. She still looked the same, but the air around her had changed. She held her head a little higher and talked just a little bit louder. She was so strong... she had the strength to put up with me. My eyes landed on her arm once again. She looked at me suspiciously.

"You have that I-hate-myself-and-want-to-die-look on your face." I couldn't even smile at that. I needed to see how much damage I had done.

"Will you take that cardigan off, please?" I asked, putting on a blank face.

"No." She crossed her arms defensively and stepped back from me. I felt an uncomfortable tug on my heart.

"I just need to see." I coaxed, but she shook her head stubbornly. I stayed in my spot, now that I knew better than trying to corner her. I settled for the next best.

"Does it hurt?" Why could I never control myself? I should know better than touching her when I'm angry. I should know better than being angry at all.

"Probably just a bit sore." She wrinkled her nose. Then she huffed.

"Sheesh, Edward, it's just a bruise. It could happen to anyone." How could she just accept that I bruised her? It was practically illegal. I took a few calming breaths. No more anger.

"Bella..." I said, but she interrupted before I had the chance to correct my mistake.

"Seriously, it was an accident. You used too much force, but it wasn't your intention to hurt me. So it's okay." She gave me a stern glance and I wondered idly if I had started to rub off on her. I felt my mouth turn up in a small smile, but it disappeared quickly. I wanted to tell her that it was not acceptable to accept that I had touched her like that. But she cut me off again.

"It wasn't like you slapped me, for Christs sake, Edward." I felt my anger rising again. Why was it so hard to let go of my old ways? I wanted to do what I would have done before. Tell her to be quiet and hug her too tightly and tell her she was weak and fragile, that I shouldn't treat her that way. But I wanted her to keep the little confidence she seemed to have gained. I nodded reluctantly.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." I smiled broadly at her reaction. Her eyes went wide with surprise, just to narrow down again, eyeing me suspiciously. She was gorgeous. Her dark eyes softened and she closed the space between us, looking up at me.

"That was weird." I had to laugh at her expression. She almost looked disbelieving. "Edward Cullen admitted he was wrong." She giggled and hugged my waist. I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't admit I was wrong, I was simply saying that you were right." She pursed her lips disapprovingly. I couldn't help but bending down and give them a chaste peck.

"Admit that you were wrong." She demanded and smiled hugely. A laugh escaped me.

"Never." I whispered in her ear. I saw goosebumps appear on her pale skin. She shook her head. I had missed this. The playful banter and her smiles. She backed away a few steps.

"I won't kiss you until you tell me that you were wrong." She stuck her tiny tongue out as my eyebrows shot up.

"Really now?" I pouted slightly.

"Really." She looked anywhere but my lips. I chuckled. I was fairly sure that I could get a kiss from her before this day's end.

* * *

They still have dinner at Carlisle and Esme's place left. And I think Edward's going to get some shit from Rosalie or Emmett, otherwise they seem to be doing pretty good.

Please don't review.


	15. Gave Me Soul

Chapter 15. Here you go, lovelies.

I don't own Twilight.

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**15. BPOV**

Edward managed to steal a kiss before we arrived to his parents' place. I pretended to be mad about it until he finally whispered that he was wrong.

We got out of the car and walked up to the townhouse. Edward seemed nervous as he fidgeted and pulled his hair. I looked at him questioningly.

"What?" He asked and pinched the bridge of his nose. I leaned into him outside the door.

"You seem nervous." What did he have to be nervous about? I removed my mittens and cupped his face. He just gazed down at me with an unreadable expression.

"I just... I don't think this will be pretty." He put his palms over mine.

"Why not? Will they be angry?" I had a hard time imagining anyone in his family being angry with him. They adored him.

"Rosalie won't be pleased. But hopefully, the others will be." He clenched his jaw. I thought about Rosalie. We weren't exactly close, and I found her fierceness very intimidating. From what I had heard from Emmett and Edward, she wasn't happy that I _let _Edward treat me the way he did. Apparently she had very strong opinions about gender equality. She thought I was being a push-over. I never thought of myself as one, simply because I didn't mind being taken care of... well, at least not when Edward was not out of line. Alice just told me that she didn't like people showing weakness. But it's hard to be someone you're not. I thought everyone had weaknesses.

Edward kissed my knuckles and stepped in.

"We're here!" He called, and Esme showed up just seconds afterwards. She smiled warmly at us and we hugged and kissed. Carlisle walked in too, blue eyes warm as he watched our intertwined hands. He carefully hugged me and whispered a thanks. He stepped away and winked when Edward pulled me closer. Would that jealousy never decrease? I frowned at him and he released my hand at once, smiling apologetically.

Esme ushered us into the dining room, where Alice and Rosalie were already seated. Alice squealed and jumped up to hug us both, with impressive strength. Rosalie just smiled icily. I instinctively stepped back against Edward and smiled back tightly.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked, when I noticed that he wasn't seated at the beautifully laid table. Esme rolled her eyes and nodded to the kitchen. I giggled and sat down between Edward and Alice.

Emmett showed up, chewing violently on something. He smiled broadly when he saw me and ran forward to lift me out of my seat. Edward scowled at him and he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Let me down, Emmett!" I giggled in protest.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... I've missed you, Bellie! I didn't know when my cousin here would pull that head of his out of his ass and drag you back here." I saw Edward flinch in the corner of my eye. The room became uncomfortably silent. Everyone watched us with guarded expressions. Edward looked down on his empty plate and didn't say anything. I needed to do something now. To let them know that he hadn't forced me to do anything. But Rosalie was quicker.

"So I suppose you have bought a new leash for Bella, Edward." Edward still didn't say anything, he just sat there with hunched shoulders, the very picture of pure shame. I felt a stab at my heart. Earlier he would have fought back, but not now. I bit my lip to keep from crying.

"Rosalie..." Emmett stood behind her chair and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Emmett." She spat back and turned her glare to me. I shrank back and reached for Edwards hand. He gripped mine tightly. I reverted my eyes and they stopped at Carlisle and Esme. It seemed like Esme was trying to restrain Carlisle from interfering. Carlisle and Edward were so alike. The limitless love and compassion in them made them two very intensive persons. Edward really admired his father, whom probably loved Edward above all else... Though Esme probably snatched the first place.

A timer beeped in the kitchen before Rosalie could say anything else. It was as if everyone relaxed at the same time. Carlisle disappeared to retrieve the food.

Alice smiled apologetically and rubbed my back.

The rest of the dinner passed without incidents, but when we moved to the living room for coffee, Rosalie pulled me aside. She practically dragged me out of the room, and I released a little whimper when she touched the bruise. I caught Edward's eyes just before we were out in the hallway. He looked alarmed, but apparently someone stopped him from following.

I turned my face to Rosalie, who was glaring down at me. I rubbed my arm and bit my lip. She narrowed her dark eyes.

"Did you seriously just forgive him? He's a fucking asshole! He treated you like a bloody dog for years!" She punched her fist in the wall next to me. I cringed back.

"He didn't, it was just the last months that..."

"Just stop it! He took advantage of you, he still does, for Christ's sake." Her voice was low and menacingly. I felt my eyes tear up.

"No, he's promised to change... He _has_ changed." I protested weakly.

"Yeah, right... He's still abnormally jealous." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Seriously, if I as much as hear him give you one single order tonight, or any night, you're staying with me and Emmett." Her voice softened at the end, and her furious expression faltered.

"You need to grow a backbone, girl, you hear me?" She looked at me with something that almost looked like sympathy. I nodded eagerly. She shook her head at me at pulled lightly at a few strands of my hair. I was surprised by the small sign of affection, she must have noticed and crinkled her nose before she slung an arm around my shoulders and led me back into the living room.

Edward was pacing like a mad man, while Emmett blocked the door. He winked sweetly at me and let us through.

Edward looked up from the floor and frantically let his eyes rake over my body. He smiled tightly and walked up to us. Rosalie bent forward and whispered something in his ear that I didn't catch, but he tensed and looked almost scared. Rosalie pushed me into his arms and went to sit down on Emmett's lap, who had relocated himself to the couch and and the big plate of cookies on the table in front of it.

Edward hugged me tightly. I didn't really know what to do about the situation. Rosalie had been so threatening, but maybe she had a point. I thought back to mine and Edward's earlier conversation. _You don't understand just how much attraction you really hold. I was scared, still am, that you would realize how much better you can do, _he had said. He made it sound like it was my fault that he was jealous and controlling. Edward must have felt me stiffen and leaned down to murmur in my ear.

"Is something wrong? What did she say?"

I shook my head, still thinking about what Rosalie said. I needed to grow a backbone, Edward had told me that, too, just in different words. _I want to keep you safe from me. You won't be if I you don't keep me in line. _How could I do that when I was so used to Edward being in control? _Start over, start over, start over. _Easier said than done.

Someone cleared their throat and I wiggled out of Edward's arms, giving him a reassuring smile. I had forgiven him, now I just needed time to adjust. Probably he, too.

We joked and laughed and talked the rest of the evening, and everything went fine until we were saying our goodbyes. Esme pulled my arm to get my attention, and winced when she saw my grimace.

"Are you alright, Bella?" I sucked in a deep breath, eyes darting to Edward, who stood frozen, about to put his coat on.

"Yeah, just fine." My voice sounded strange in my own ears. Esme looked at me concerned, but didn't say anything. Instead she pulled me in for a hug and kissed my cheek.

"It's so good to see you back together, honey." She whispered. I noticed Carlise looking at me with a strange expression over her shoulder. It was questioningly and slightly confused. I stepped out of Esme's motherly embrace when he held his arms out. He hugged me, but let his hand rest on my upper arm. He squeezed lightly, and I could feel myself wince in pain.

"Is there something wrong with your arm, Bella?" I turned to Edward, whose eyes were wide. No, no, no. I felt the panic rising. I furiously shook my head and tried to smile.

"No, it's fine."

He didn't look convinced, but let it drop. I sighed in relief.

I dragged Edward out of the door, or rather, I pulled his arm and he followed. Once we were seated in the car, I turned to him. He looked agonized.

"You should just have let them know, Bella." He whispered and clenched the steering wheel, so hard his knuckles whitened. Let them know? Was he crazy? They would blow it out of proportion, just like him. And Rosalie... I didn't even want to think about her reaction.

"Edward, I'm fine. It doesn't hurt unless someone touches it. It's no big deal." He looked at me like I was crazy.

"No big deal, Bella? Have you completely lost your mind? I fucking bruised you. I hurt you so bad that it left a mark!" He pulled his hair and it was a wonder that big chunks of it didn't fall off.

Now _I_ was mad.

"Edward! Sheesh, remember earlier today? You admitted that you were wrong on this subject. It was an accident." I grabbed his chin and turned his face to me. "Accident." I repeated.

He closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths.

"If I ever hurt you like that again, you'll _have_ to tell them." He spoke softly before opening his eyes and starting the car.

Then I remembered what he had called me. Bella. It didn't seem to matter what he called me anymore.

Once we were home after a tense ride, I shrugged out of my coat and flung myself down on the couch in the living room. It had been an exhausting day and I yawned hugely.

"Bedtime, huh?" Edward sat down next to me, still looking upset. I wanted to comfort him somehow. I put my head in his lap and gazed up on him.

"I dreamt about you every night, you know." He said. I recognized that. "You were running away in them, because I hurt you." He refused to look at me or touch me. Would he never get over his wallowing? Grow a backbone, Bella.

I swiftly sat up and glared at him. Now or never.

"That's enough, Edward." I felt like a parent speaking to a stubborn child, a very foreign feeling. "I won't listen to this anymore." I abruptly stood up. I knew I wasn't playing fair by leaving, even if I was just going to go to another room.

I walked into our bedroom and was surprised when he didn't follow. I decided it would be best if I just ignored him until he came around. I went into the bathroom and got ready for bed.

I stood in front of the mirror and lightly poked the bruise when Edward knocked. It wasn't too bad, I could just make out the marks after his fingertips, which were a blue color.

"I'll be out in a minute." I called and pulled a long-sleeved t-shirt over my head.

When I exited the bathroom, Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, with his head in his hands.

"I never do anything right, do I?" He asked quietly. He sounded so lost. I climbed in bed and sat behind him, framing him with my thighs. I put my arms around him and exhaled loudly.

"You must have done something right." I said. I wanted him to stop the self-hating. He had made mistakes, I had made mistakes, but all was forgiven now.

"How so?" He asked tiredly.

"I love you." I didn't care if I would have to reassure him about that a hundred times a day, as long as he stopped his brooding.

"Don't deserve it..." He mumbled.

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Edward is going all emo.

I believe there's only one or two chapters left now.

Has anyone noticed that Jasper is not in this story? Weird, huh? I have no idea where he is.

And don't review, please. Thank you. I appreciate if you like it, but the review-nerves are killing me.


	16. A Weak Heart Again

It's been a while, huh? I don't really like leaving things unfinished... I think, at least.

So apologies... and here's the last little chapter.

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16. EPOV

Sweet, sweet Bella was comforting me as usual. I was beginning to doubt that I could ever change for her. It felt like I was going completely on instinct whenever I was with her. Protect the weaker. Don't let anyone else touch what was _mine_. But Bella wasn't weak, she really wasn't. And she didn't need my protection, not really. What was I protecting her against, anyway? She didn't _need_ me, and that's what hurt the most. She could be completely fine on her own. It scared me. I _wanted_ her to be dependent on me, just like I was depending on her. I couldn't _function_ without her.

And that was what turned me into a... neanderthal.

I sighed heavily. I was too tired to even think about this now.

The visit at my family's house hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Of course Rosalie was the one to make the biggest fuzz. I was painfully curious about what she had told Bella when they had stepped out.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked from behind me. I could feel her arms tightening around my waist.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed again, almost feeling a fatigue wash over me. She removed her arms and I could feel her moving on the bed behind me. I turned my head to look at her, lying under the covers watching me with concern.

I smiled lightly, a smile so faux I had to grimace.

"I'm fine." I stood up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed.

"Edward? I'll grow a backbone if you need it."

I chuckled and left.

When I came back she was sound asleep, curled into a ball. I smiled a real smile this time.

_My Angel._

No! She wasn't a possession. She just wasn't. She might be an angel, but I would never _own_ her. She could change her mind any minute, leave me here with nothing, realizing how much better she could do.

I had to stop this thinking, it was what led me to treat her so horribly in the first place.

_Start over, start over, start over..._

I fell asleep next to her, chanting those words in my mind.

The next few weeks of my life were hell. I didn't quite know what was worse; how Bella had acted before, or how she acted now. I didn't understand what had happened to her. Before this she had been sweet and shy and so eager to please... so selfless. And now, now she was turning into some kind of Rosalie-copy. All that bitchiness. The snarky comments and her complete dismissal of anything_ she _thought ridiculous was slowly wearing me down. There were times when I just wanted to remind her of who was the one that took care of her, who was the one she should..._ obey_. Who she fucking belonged to.

I leaned my head in my hands where I sat at the kitchen island. It was sunday morning, and Bella sat on the counter, flipping through a thick book. I sighed, and she looked at me with raised eyebrows, those brown eyes glinting coldly.

"What are you doing today?" I asked her; just another thing I hated about our new relationshp; it was no longer taken for granted that she would spend all of her free time with me.

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm meeting Jake for brunch."

I swallowed thickly. How was it even possible that she thought I would be okay with her meeting another man for brunch? She smacked her book shut and huffed.

"Don't even start, Edward."

I glared at her. I had gone out of my way to let her do whatever she wanted, even if it was going out with another man... no, boy. Because Jake was just a cocky college-freshman with absolutely no idea of who Bella really was. My _Isabella_ would never even had entertained the idea of meeting him a sunday morning. And I was slowly loosing my patience with _Bella_.

"Give me one reason to why I should let you have brunch with that _dog_." My voice was only a cold whisper.

"You have absolutely no right to stop me from doing that." Her voice was equally cold and I swallowed back another wave of jealousy.

"I could always make you... stay here." I was loosing it. The suppressed anger was pumping in my body and made my sight hazy. She swiftly jumped off the counter.

"Fuck you." She spat.

"Watch your mouth, _Isabella_."

I'd had enough.

She froze, and I couldn't even make myself regret what I said. I had finally snapped. Her wide Bambi-eyes were huge and round. I stood up, just to make sure that she knew that I was perfectly capable of physically restraining her; stopping her from leaving.

I was turning into my old self. The change hadn't been a change, just a temporary way to earn her forgivness. I was ashamed.

"Edward, move." She squared those delicate shoulders as I looked down at her, but I noticed how her eyes darted around nervously. _Good._

I very gently placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Edward..." She sounded nervous now. Not quite afraid, but some of the coldness had worn off.

"Isabella..."

"What are you-."

"You are not having brunch with anybody else than me, lovely." I hated myself in that moment. Pure self-hatred. I prayed she couldn't see it. I had no right to do this, but if it meant that she would stay... no. I couldn't go there... Not now, not ever.

I could see her visibly shrink under my stony gaze. She grew smaller and smaller, paler and weaker in front of me.

I hesitantly brough her closer to me and pressed her to my chest. She didn't struggle, but didn't acknowledge it either. She seemed frozen.

"Edward..." Her voice once again held that vulnerable edge.

And I _relished_ in it.

"It's okay, Isabella. I'll make sure that you won't see him again." I carefully cradled the back of her head in my hand and tilted her face towards mine. It was filled with shock. I tenderly stroked her cheek and smiled. It felt good to be in control again. Better than it should.

She blinked, one, two, three times. She was fragile again, and so beautiful.

"Don't be scared of me. I won't hurt you. But no matter how much you pretend to be strong and in control, I am the one who is. You belong to me, you're mine to care for.

She shook in my arms.

"But... you changed. You're changed." She accused hoarsely.

"There's only so far you can push me, lovely."

I was a monster, a devil, a horrible creature. I realized that when tears formed in her eyes.

"You promised you would never-."

"I haven't hurt you. I never will." I kissed her tears away, hating and loving the salty taste on my lips.

"But I will cherish and love you, protect and care for you. I will sooth you when you're sad and calm you down when you're angry. I will always be there, Isabella, no matter what."

I felt so emotional, with the way she was carefully pressed against me, her frail bones mine to protect. She was weak. Weak and beautiful, and _mine_.

"You're scaring me... You said you wou-." She sniffled.

"Shh, angel, don't fight it. Don't you realize that you're made of glass? I'll always be wrapped around you to make sure that you don't shatter or are taken away."

"I don't want you to be wrapped around me!"

She was anguished.

"You love me." I told her.

She hesitated.

"No, not when you're like this."

"Yes you do, you would forgive me for anything."

"No!" she yelled and her little hands pushed against my chest. "I hate you when you're like this. Let go of me." She continued and twisted in my hold.

I held on tighter; I knew very well that she didn't hate me.

_Mine._

_

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Chavuinistic-, Possessive-, Assward for you all...

_Thank you to all readers. I know I'm not the best, attentive writer there is, and that I've been horrbile to answering messages and then there's the fact that I don't like reviews... never been good with critisism..._

_Anyways, thank you everyone who has read this._

_I don't think I will write anything else, actually. But it's been rather nice to do this story._

_Massor av kramar! Lots of hugs!_

_721_

_(And please, no reviews... though trust me, I really appreciate if you appreciated this story)_


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